not much to sayPosted: May 20, 2005
…today wasn’t bad, wasn’t very eventful either. I got frustrated a bit at work, but when I came home I had a very long existential nap (do I even know what I’m saying there?) and then watched movies. most of 3 men and a little lady and part of great expectations. then I got caught up in reading harry potter book 6 theories, and that meant I had to look up some stuff in book 2, and that made me pull out book 4 to find something, and I ended up reading the whole thing. ok, not the whole thing, I did skip a few chapters. it was good times, though. I wish I had my own copy of book 5 lying around here somewhere; it’d be the perfect thing for this weekend.
for no reason at all, I feel like I need to have a good cry. I think I’m just exhausted from the week and from all the overflowing effervescent joy I had yesterday. it’s calmed down a lot by now, I’m still just as euphoric, but quietly.
today’s impossible (ok…improbable) daydream was that the first friday when jarom is back, or heck even thursday, anytime before the homecoming, he’ll show up at work with flowers. haha I’m so completely off my rocker on this thing, this whole situation. but it would be dreadfully fun. of course I’m more than content with just seeing him at the homecoming and maybe I don’t even get a chance to talk for very long, which is probably what will happen, but I do so enjoy these best case scenarios. usually I do worst case, so it’s a nice change.
late. hoping ryan will call to talk, even though it’s so late. last night we did random readings and I read the velveteen rabbit to him. my throat was killing me, I haven’t read out loud in a while, but I liked sharing the story.
I need to go have some dreams. maybe I can dream these feelings out instead of crying them out. it’s been ages since I had a decent cry, which is fine by me, I don’t mind being tear-free. except I think it’s really just a part of my personality, and that’s how I deal with life sometimes. some people work out or go jogging or watch gory movies to get everything out, so I think it’s ok if I cry to accomplish the same purpose. besides, it can be awfully endearing, and sometimes it even lets me be mikacuddled. at any rate, no mikacuddling tonight; I am going to bed.