life is even more beautiful than beforePosted: May 15, 2005 Filed under: Bartleby the Scrivener Leave a comment
oh man, what a beautiful day. church was lovely, we had just 2 sisters for our speakers in sacrament meeting. they gave post-mother’s day talks about women in the church, and in the ward family. very good. my attention span ended somewhere during sunday school, but I had a rather nice time trying to imagine jarom’s homecoming. it came out something like this: since my ward gets out at noon, I’ll go home and have a bite to eat, if the “butterflies and caterpillars and shooting stars” in my stomach (as montgomery says) will handle it. then I’ll be at the stake center about 12:40, with — and this is crucial — a notebook for writing in. otherwise I’d go absolutely out of my mind with unwritten and unexpressed thoughts and feelings. so I’ll be sitting on the left side of the chapel, in about the 5th pew from the back. the speakers won’t be in yet and I can write for a while, as the chapel begins filling up. quentin and kimberlee and elizabeth felix will all come, along with various other friends and family of jarom’s. I don’t know which aisle jarom will walk up when he’s going to the stand, but he’ll probably be accosted by numerous well-wishers who are all glad to see him, though I expect none of them are quite as glad to see him as I’ll be. but anyway. in this particular version of events he goes and takes his seat on the stand with such timing that he sees me shortly after sitting down but he can’t get up to come talk before the meeting starts. so I just smile my gorgeous smile, and he smiles back and the butterflies and caterpillars and shooting stars start dancing around. I just don’t know what happens after the meeting’s over, which is when things really get interesting. but I’m afraid my imagination can’t handle all the possibilities, most of which are extraordinarily splendid.
well, that took care of sacrament meeting today; relief society was about prayer, and was a rather well-taught lesson. after church I had a nice little piece of poundcake with strawberries and cream, and it was delicious. I thought I’d have a nap — somehow it turned into a three-hour nap, more than I intended. I was awakened by the phone ringing; I’m actually quite glad it woke me up, because I was having a very unpleasant dream. I don’t remember much of it, luckily, just shapes and ideas. anyhow, the phone call was from jennifer, who’s having the most gorgeous weekend ever…a guy she has engl 293 with, but with whom she hadn’t really talked much before, turns out to be (in her words) “perfect,” they’ve spent 12 hours together over the last 3 days, and are definitely dating. it certainly looks like if things work out she’ll be engaged this summer, or by the end of the year at least. gaaa! she described him as “a kindred spirit,” and, having just read anne of green gables and anne of avonlea again, I can’t help but accept him wholeheartedly as being amazing. sigh.
oh, I also talked to kimberlee for a while before my nap; she hurt her ankle rather badly last week, and she’s been laid up since then. and walking around on crutches. but otherwise life is not too shabby, and I’m looking forward to seeing her soon.
I think I told you that I made a countdown chain. I colored every week a different color; at the time there were 8 weeks, so I did four of alternating black and blue, and four of alternating yellow and pink. (those were the colors I had, ok?) as of today we’ve entered the last black-and-blue week. the nervousness and excitement are mounting steadily. like I said, after reading the anne books I’m ready to believe in love more than anything, especially in this situation. I know it may take a while for things to work, if they’re going to. but it’ll be a dazzling experience.
the window is open, the wind is blowing, and it’s a perfectly overcast day — not dismal, just…cozy. if I had someone to go with I’d put on a coat and go for a walk. I’m just in one of those moods. I’ve been like this since, when was it, thursday or friday? everything is just so good. life is completely divine right now, and I love this feeling. ahhhh.
mirabel cotton's unclePosted: May 15, 2005 Filed under: Bartleby the Scrivener Leave a comment
reading anne of avonlea online right now. so many passages that make me laugh out loud. here’s one, after the twins have had their first day at school:
Dora said primly that she liked school; but she was very quiet, even for her; and when at twilight Marilla bade her go upstairs to bed she hesitated and began to cry.
“I’m…I’m frightened,” she sobbed. “I…I don’t want to go upstairs alone in the dark.”
“What notion have you got into your head now?” demanded Marilla. “I’m sure you’ve gone to bed alone all summer and never been frightened before.”
Dora still continued to cry, so Anne picked her up, cuddled her sympathetically, and whispered,
“Tell Anne all about it, sweetheart. What are you frightened of?”
“Of…of Mirabel Cotton’s uncle,” sobbed Dora. “Mirabel Cotton told me all about her family today in school. Nearly everybody in her family has died…all her grandfathers and grandmothers and ever so many uncles and aunts. They have a habit of dying, Mirabel says. Mirabel’s awful proud of having so many dead relations, and she told me what they all died of, and what they said, and how they looked in their coffins. And Mirabel says one of her uncles was seen walking around the house after he was buried. Her mother saw him. I don’t mind the rest so much but I can’t help thinking about that uncle.”
Anne went upstairs with Dora and sat by her until she fell asleep. The next day Mirabel Cotton was kept in at recess and “gently but firmly” given to understand that when you were so unfortunate as to possess an uncle who persisted in walking about houses after he had been decently interred it was not in good taste to talk about that eccentric gentleman to your deskmate of tender years. Mirabel thought this very harsh. The Cottons had not much to boast of. How was she to keep up her prestige among her schoolmates if she were forbidden to make capital out of the family ghost?
good times, good times. I made pound cake today, and we had it with cream and fresh strawberries from saechao’s. in the mail I got a refund check for $11 from the dmv, which is strange, because I paid the amount they told me to plus the late fee. but hey, I’m not going to send them their money back. they clearly said it’s mine now. I attribute this miraculous occurrance to the fact that yesterday I made out a check for tithing on my last few paychecks, which I hadn’t done because I lost my checkbook temporarily. so it’s ready to be handed to the bishop tomorrow, and while I’m not expecting a flood of random monies to come, I do believe with all my heart that financial matters will somehow work out for me. that may only mean that I’ve got a place to live and someone to feed me, or it may mean I’ll have enough money to hold me through my move to utah; whatever the case, I have absolute confidence in the promise of tithing.