how can I keep from singing?

I had been thinking earlier about going up to brian and amy’s this weekend. but, on thursday I talked to mick and found out my car won’t be ready until this tuesday, and I didn’t want to take his car on the trip. seemed like unnecessary miles, you know. well, when lauren and I were talking about our plans for the weekend (before I heard from mick) I mentioned I might go up to sacramento. yesterday morning diana came in to swap drives. ok, everyone got the background info down?

after I got home from work yesterday — which included a trip up to teresa’s in vacaville to bring her a new drive — I checked my email, got in pajamas, took out my contacts, and laid down for a nap. I’d been lying there for no more than 6 minutes when the phone rang…mha calling. apparently diana had just barely sat down to start indexing and found that the drive wouldn’t work. she called the office, where tim was the only one still there; he called lauren, who called me, because she remembered I said I might go to sacramento. (oh yes, important piece of information: diana lives in sacramento.) lauren asked me ever so sweetly if I was still planning on going up, and if so, could I take an extra power cord and a backup usb drive to diana. I said I hadn’t intended to go at that point, but if they really needed me to, I would. by that point I had already told brian I wouldn’t be coming. so I talked to tim, and brian, and diana, and dragged myself out of the mental stupor I’d blissfully fallen into when I started napping (or trying to nap). threw some overnight stuff together and headed back to the office to pick the stuff up for diana. only after I printed out the directions to her house did I realize — it’s memorial day weekend. friday afternoon. I must have been out of my mind to agree to head up i-80 eastbound.

luckily, traffic hit two or three really bad spots, and was otherwise normal. I didn’t even crash mick’s car. although I was absolutely starving by the time I got to brian’s. the girls wore me out, or maybe I was already worn out…anyway, amy and I watched uptown girls while brian worked on whatever work he does. the movie didn’t end until midnight, and by then I was exhausted. slept until 11am.

I probably wouldn’t’ve slept so long except that my dreams were so, so, so pleasant. I think every single one of them was about jarom; the first I remember was where I was walking with someone — quentin, maybe? — sometime next week, and all of a sudden there was jarom, we just randomly ran into him. at the grocery store or theater or mall or wherever. I screamed (not in real life); he was just as surprised and excited, and reached into his pocket and pulled out an itty bitty black velvet box. you all know what those hold. it was a ring, yep; the ring was…a size 2 or something. way too small, even for me, and I was a bit confused because he has one of my rings — he bought it — and knows what size I wear. at any rate the confusion was mostly at the back of my mind, or rather the confusion about the sizing was, because it was clear that he thought I had already agreed to marry him. or I couldn’t remember us having ever gotten engaged, but apparently we were, somehow, and hey…I wasn’t going to argue with that. what I would do in a real situation like that, I’m not sure. kinda weird. but then, dreams are weird to begin with.

brian and amy have a bread machine, which they use to make a loaf of bread about every other day. that reminds me, I told ryan I’d learn how to make good bread this summer and bake him some when I’m back in utah.

back in utah! what fun. no idea how long it is from now, but I do know that jarom will be home two weeks from this coming tuesday. so far I’m doing fine; I keep telling myself, “well, self, at least it’s two weeks and not one.” but before long I’ll have to say, “jarom will be home next week.” next week! I’ll go crazy. and then it’ll be “jarom will be home tomorrow.” I don’t think I’ll hear from him before that thursday (if I do hear from him before the homecoming), but I might be fluttery tuesday morning anyway. in fact I expect I will be.

anyway…nothing much else to add today. I’m determined to get my room clean today, really good and clean. it’ll be a pain — why did I used to be able to clean for hours when I was avoiding homework, but now I can’t spend half an hour focused on cleaning? strange…very strange…