time for a rock to fall on my headPosted: April 18, 2005
which, being translated, means I’m feeling optimistic today. especially about jarom. suddenly it seems like exactly what I’ve been wishing for — someone to talk to, get to know, play the question game and be friends with. it just so happens that we’ve already done those things, a long time ago. and we have a long history together. but it’ll be good to start over, in a way. I remember we tried starting over a couple times before. twice, I suppose. once was senior year while I was dating (and after I broke up with) david, and that worked spectacularly. the second time was after ryan and I broke up — what has it been, a little over two years? yeah, duh…a few months before jarom left on his mission. hello. anyway, that time failed miserably because we weren’t both trying to make it work; there were half-hearted attempts, but they never coincided. when he wanted to be friends I wanted him to leave me alone, and vice versa.
this time, though…this time should work. jarom wouldn’t waste time and paper and postage on me if he didn’t at least want to be friends. more evidence, you say? here, try this on for size:
“…the Lord has put much effort into our relationship. when I have cast it aside, He has reprimanded me. when I embrace it, He has blessed me with wisdom. God does everything with a very specific purpos and has preserved my life, and our friendship.”
citing divine guidance in our relationship seems like a pretty clear statement that he thinks it’s important. awesome. I’m not even gonna touch the “eternal union” part of that particular letter; for now just let me say that things are looking up. mika gets a friend!
also a note about not getting a letter: turns out I mailed my letter the first weekend in march. so it’s been a month and a half without hearing back, and I’ve gone longer than that before. besides, it’s at the end of his mission, and I really will be ok if I don’t hear from him at all until he’s home. no, wait…not true. I’ll be rather concerned that I said something completely out of line that freaked him out, and think he now wants no contact with me at all, and then I’ll be super nervous (again) about him coming back. I think it would be better if I got at least a short note from him. that seems much healthier for my sanity.
I realized that I should probably
…um…I spent half an hour on the phone with kimberlee and now I have no idea what “I should probably” was leading to. that sucks. hm.