Music and memories

{ Disclaimer: some or all of this post is sappy. }

The Romgi and I went to high school together, did you know? The start of this most recent school year marks 12 years that we’ve known each other. Our relationship has been complicated – from friends to “dating” to frenemies to dating and finally to marriage. And you know what one of the constants has been through it all? Third Eye Blind.

I know it sounds ridiculous to make a big deal out of a band. But I can’t describe what powerful memories their music brings back. On our way back from Salt Lake tonight, after the kids fell asleep to sleepy music, I put in 3eb’s self-titled album and we listened to the last few (quieter) tracks. When we were in high school – and later, after the Romgi came back from his mission – we used to go on drives at night on the backroads up to Lake Berryessa. We talked about everything or nothing. Those drives helped us become best friends. There was always music playing, often 3eb, and when I hear the last few songs on the album I feel relaxed and content, like I did after a long drive with the Romgi. Usually the cd was almost over by the time we got close to town again, and it almost feels cathartic (apologies if I’ve used that word incorrectly) to hear those songs. It makes me remember how great our talks were, how comfortable we were together. My memory of our drives is feeling like we were in harmony with each other.

Tonight I still felt that way when we put in our beat-up old Third Eye Blind cd. So much has changed since our drives together – and I wonder how to get some of that feeling back into our everyday lives? I almost wish I could combine then and now. Things have turned out so much better than I could have imagined, but it does seem like I’ve been so caught up in raising the Bwun and jr and keeping the house clean (or trying to, at least) and being perfect (won’t happen anytime soon), plus the Romgi in law school…we don’t spend much time with just each other anymore. I miss those talks.

How do you keep a feeling of couple-ness? What are ways you’ve found to preserve all the wonderful things you had at the start of your relationship? I wouldn’t trade our current life for anything, because we have even more wonderful things now. But it would be so nice to enjoy the Romgi’s company without worrying about what mess the Bwun has just made (see below) or getting up to change yet another of jr’s diapers. Do you have advice on being spouses instead of just parents?

(Please don’t think that I dislike being a parent. It’s incredible. I like being the Romgi’s wife too, though.)

New topic: my amazing mom spent hours cleaning my kitchen yesterday while I took a nap. I could get used to that kind of service! After all the dishes were clean, the Bwun decided the change to a tidy (-ish) kitchen was just too much…this morning he dumped a box of cereal on the floor. Thank you, son.

Cereal (and other small messes) on the floor. Also, you can see our little butane stove. One of these days we'll live somewhere with a real stove...but until then, we get by with this.

See how the sink is almost empty? Tomorrow I hope to be able to show you a completely clean (-ish) kitchen!


2 Comments on “Music and memories”

  1. KHL says:

    Hey, I forgot to say that I liked your stripey curtain!

  2. Katie says:

    3eb has some great memories for me too. I think the last few tracks on that cd are calming. Melancholy, but so calming. Motorcycle Driveby sticks out in my brain. I love how a line from a song (or the whole song) can instantly transport you back years!

    I don’t have the parenting thing going on yet, but I know what you mean about keeping a “couple-ness”. I have no suggestions for you. Let me know what you figure out. ;) I have to just keep reminding myself “this is just a phase of life – you’ll get out of it one day”. I have to remember that soon enough, Josh will be home in the evenings (or for you – Jarom will be finished with school) and if I can hang on just a little longer, there will be more opportunities to spend time together. Hang in there!!

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