The Masses

I have a frustrating dilemma. I want to see the world as a good place where people are, unfortunately, suffering, and many of the world’s problems can be fixed with better communication and the gospel. But at the same time, I think that The Masses are selfish, uneducated, and cruel. So sometimes I have trouble deciding if at any given moment I’ll want to save the world or let The Masses ruin their lives.

At work we run credit checks on potential customers. What happens is that the representative who is at the customer’s house will call us and give information like the customer’s name, address, phone number, and birthdate. The program we use is set up to automatically verify addresses to make sure they are real, but first the street name and house number must be correct.

A few days ago, a representative called and gave me an address on “Leh-BAA-none Avenue” in Illinois. She then spelled it for me: L-E-B-A-N-O-N. I asked her to clarify that it was not LeBannon or something of the sort. “No,” she replied, “It’s Leh-BAA-none. L-E-B-A-N-O-N.”

“Um…could that be…Lebanon? Like the country?” I asked.

Long pause. “Leb…eh…non… Leb…uh…non… Yeah, I guess it could be!” she said cheerfully.

The sad thing was that later in the day a different representative (this time male) called with a Lebanon Avenue in another city and pronounced it Lay-BAN-un. As part of the pre-installation survey we ask customers to confirm that we have the correct address on file for them, and it did indeed turn out to be Lebanon. Like the country. Both times.

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Carcasses strewn everywhere

That got your attention, didn’t it?

Ok, the carcasses were actually very small wooden people-shaped things (except the Romgi got a decapitated one somehow). We played a fun new game last night and actually had company over! This was a big deal. Perhaps even more amazing: the apartment looked clean!

But we have found fellow Arrested Development fans – married fans, at that. A lot of the people here at work like the show but they are enjoying the single life and don’t really care to spend time with “old folk” who go to bed before ten. I remember those days…but I can’t say that being married and going to bed at ten is in any way a bad thing.

At any rate, I may have liked Carcassonne but I’m still wary of Se^lers of Wherever. That will take some convincing.

Until then, I’ve cleaned up the carcasses and put them back in their box.


Weekly World News

Lest you think that I’m changing direction of my blog from Mika-esque to Mika-profound…

Weekly World News is not being published anymore!!

This is a very bad thing. In case you don’t know, Weekly World News is a periodical full of off-the-wall “true” stories (it proclaims itself to be The World’s Only Reliable Newspaper), like “Mother Nature Endorses Al Gore for President!” The Romgi (thanks, ‘sposita, for the new name) and I used to pick up a copy at the grocery store every few months for entertainment.

But according to MSNBC.com, WWN will publish its last issue in August, and after that it will no longer be available in newsstands.

Mourn with us!