Radio

Sometimes my brain is like a radio with a five-year-old as the DJ. If it finds a song it likes, repeat indefinitely; if I suddenly switch topics or thought trains, my mental background music switches just as suddenly. Last night as I was trying to sleep, for example, I had a long loop of Taylor Swift’s “Should’ve Said No,” followed by Coldplay’s “Viva la Vida” when I tried finding a slightly mellower song (did that work? Not really sure). And then for good measure my DJ randomly tossed in a Chris Brown song whose name I don’t know. When enough was enough, I snuck out to grab the Romgi’s Zune. A few nights ago I made a playlist specifically for times like these.

Unfortunately, most of the songs I selected featured mental commentary by my DJ. They were nostalgic and full of memories, and the DJ even tried narrating a blog entry about the playlist for me. In an effort to sleep, I did my best to ignore the DJ, although for a five-year-old she writes pretty well. So I just have one song to tell you about, instead of the 30 whose significance was nicely laid out for me last night.

I did ballet when I was growing up. (Surprise!) From the time I was 5 until I was about 15, I performed in The Nutcracker every year – usually as a Bon Bon but, as I got a tiny bit taller, sometimes in another role. We had rehearsals for Act II every Saturday, all Saturday from about August until December. Without a doubt my favorite part was watching the Pas de Deux with the Sugar Plum Fairy and her…whatever his title is. The music is maybe the most emotionally-charged EVER. (I really mean that.)

A few years ago, I went with some friends to see The Nutcracker at Christmastime. We didn’t have very good seats (that’s what $10 will get you), so the majority of the ballet was just kind of “Isn’t it fun to be here?” more than “These dancers are amazing!” But when it got to the pas de deux, it didn’t matter that I couldn’t see exactly what the dancers were doing. I could feel it in the music. Honestly, you should try to find it online and listen to it. The pose above is how the song ends. Hearing the music makes me feel wistful, like I was born to dance the pas de deux (in another life where I kept doing ballet through my sulky teenage years).

So instead of falling immediately asleep when I turned on the Zune, I was treated to an amazing combination of music and memory – interrupted at times by my DJ, of course, but I drifted off eventually…and dreamed of ballet.