Irrational fear

Don’t ask me to explain why, but I am afraid that while I’m asleep, a huge man will break into our house with a big knife, hold the knife right above my sternum, and whack it down with all his might, thereby splitting the bone and somehow puncturing my ribs. Of course I will die.

Because of this, I’m very paranoid about my sternum in general. Even going to the doctor and having them put their stethoscope on my chest is unnerving. What if by some horrible accident he picks up a sharp instrument instead of the stethoscope and ends up splitting my sternum?? It makes me so worried!!

Cannibal jokes

I really don’t know why these are so funny.

What is a cannibal’s favorite dessert?
…Ladyfingers.

Did you hear about the cannibal wedding reception?
…They toasted the bride and groom.

What is a cannibal’s favorite game?
…Swallow the leader.

Did you hear about the cannibal lion?
…He had to swallow his pride.

On an unrelated note, I started yet another blog, this time without an actual purpose. Kind of ridiculous, isn’t it? But, while I was writing I decided it ought to have some goal in mind, so please visit Bükenbük to read my daily entries about what makes me happy.