The Kids Your Kids Could Be Like
Posted: November 3, 2010 Filed under: Dangerous Book for Boys, Importance of Being Earnest, Little Women 5 CommentsHello readers. Look at your kids. Now look at mine.
Now look at yours, now back to mine. Sadly, your kids are not like mine. Look down, now up, she’s wearing a bow.
Close your eyes, now open them. Now they’re doing that thing you like. Look again, they’re adorable.
Turn around. Where are you now? You’re on the internet, looking at the kids your kids could be like. Look again, the baby is quiet because she’s got a pacifier. Scroll up, then down the pacifier is now DIAMONDS!!
Anything is possible when your kids are adorable. I’m on a blog.
Inspired by this video.
The Things Parents Say
Posted: October 25, 2010 Filed under: Dangerous Book for Boys, Importance of Being Earnest Leave a commentEarlier in the year, Roni and I went to a live show for the comedian Brian Regan. We both enjoyed his previous routines, and if you haven’t heard of him, you should check out some of his DVDs on Netflix, or at the very least run a search for him on YouTube. He’s got some good stuff, and it is pretty much all family friendly.
As part of his routine, he did a bit about how as parents, you say things to your children that no human should have to say to another human. He then told a story about how his daughter and he were play wrestling on the floor, when she got up onto the couch, and jumped from the couch onto his head. He had to say, “Please don’t jump on daddy’s head!”
Ever since then, Roni and I have tried to keep track of the odd things we’ve said to the Bwun.
“Why are you scraping crackers on your tummy?”
“Stop putting your meatballs in your milk!!”
“Is that cupboard your little office?”
“Stop checking that monkey for poop!”
“Why did you paint the couch with Oreos??”
So, you other parents out there, what crazy things have you said to your children?
tl;dr- kids are lolz
Martinelli’s Cashes in on Twilight Craze
Posted: June 3, 2010 Filed under: Importance of Being Earnest 3 Comments
Watsonville, CA – Early Thursday morning, Stephen C. Martinelli, president of the well-known S. Martinelli & Company, made an announcement that vast changes are are coming to the family business. S. Martinelli & Company, known for its gold medal award-winning sparkling apple cider, is changing its marketing strategy in order to target the younger generation. Martinelli announced that his company is re-branding several of their key products, including their famous sparkling apple cider.
“It really makes a lot of sense,” the president said speaking of the change, “I am surprised that we didn’t realize this earlier.” He announced that the sparkling apple cider will now be known as “Edward Apple Juice.”
Martinelli cited the significant artistic placement of the apple on the cover on the first book of immensely popular Twilight series, as well as the fact that the vampires sparkle when exposed to sunlight, as the primary reasons for the change.
“With how popular this whole Twilight thing is, we’d be stupid to not try to take advantage of it.” Martinelli said as he put on a “Team Edward” t-shirt; his daughter stood next to him wearing a shirt which read “I like boys (and apples) that SPARKLE.”
The crowd of teenage girls burst into cheers, as their forlorn boyfriends looked on with grim determination. With renewed confidence, the company’s president said that the marketing shift made sense, as the sparkling cider is often seen as an alcohol-free alternative to champagne, and most of the fans of the series are underaged women. “They’re just going to eat this stuff up!” he said with enthusiasm.
The president said that the company had recently concluded significant negotiations with Stephenie Meyer, the author of the Twilight series, and she seemed positive about the changes. Ms. Meyer could not be reached for direct comment, but a call to her manager confirmed that the new beverage will be featured heavily in the upcoming Twilight movie, Eclipse.
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