Martinelli’s Cashes in on Twilight CrazePosted: June 3, 2010 Filed under: Importance of Being Earnest 3 Comments
Watsonville, CA – Early Thursday morning, Stephen C. Martinelli, president of the well-known S. Martinelli & Company, made an announcement that vast changes are are coming to the family business. S. Martinelli & Company, known for its gold medal award-winning sparkling apple cider, is changing its marketing strategy in order to target the younger generation. Martinelli announced that his company is re-branding several of their key products, including their famous sparkling apple cider.
“It really makes a lot of sense,” the president said speaking of the change, “I am surprised that we didn’t realize this earlier.” He announced that the sparkling apple cider will now be known as “Edward Apple Juice.”
Martinelli cited the significant artistic placement of the apple on the cover on the first book of immensely popular Twilight series, as well as the fact that the vampires sparkle when exposed to sunlight, as the primary reasons for the change.
“With how popular this whole Twilight thing is, we’d be stupid to not try to take advantage of it.” Martinelli said as he put on a “Team Edward” t-shirt; his daughter stood next to him wearing a shirt which read “I like boys (and apples) that SPARKLE.”
The crowd of teenage girls burst into cheers, as their forlorn boyfriends looked on with grim determination. With renewed confidence, the company’s president said that the marketing shift made sense, as the sparkling cider is often seen as an alcohol-free alternative to champagne, and most of the fans of the series are underaged women. “They’re just going to eat this stuff up!” he said with enthusiasm.
The president said that the company had recently concluded significant negotiations with Stephenie Meyer, the author of the Twilight series, and she seemed positive about the changes. Ms. Meyer could not be reached for direct comment, but a call to her manager confirmed that the new beverage will be featured heavily in the upcoming Twilight movie, Eclipse.
Is this from The Onion?? We loved it!
Not from The Onion, though it is obviously in the same vein. It just came to me on the subway ride home. Glad you enjoyed it!