Day 8

Can we all agree to never again have a week so eventful, life-changing, and exhausting as last week?

On Saturday I woke up feeling . . . normal. Not overwhelmed. I’ve still had moments of sadness – it was hard seeing a cute baby at church yesterday and knowing I won’t get to use June’s baby clothes again. But I’ve mostly felt at peace. I want to use this experience to make me a better person: more patient, more loving, more compassionate, more thoughtful.

Jarom and I talked yesterday afternoon and decided to induce labor on April 24. It gives us a month to prepare ourselves and make arrangements. I spoke with the funeral director of a local mortuary this morning and he said they provide they services free of charge for situations like this, and we’d just need to cover the cost of the casket. I was surprised at how easily I was able to ask questions and think through what I’d need to do for a service. It’s nice to at least have a little while where I can function before I go to the hospital.

I’ve also been contemplating how I can reach out to other parents who’ve lost their babies. One thing that has surprised me is how many people I know who lost a baby or are close to someone who did. I want to make a hand-lettered watercolor piece I can put on the wall to remember this baby, and I’d like to do the same for other parents who’ve gone through this. I’d love to hear your thoughts or find out if you know someone who might appreciate a similar piece.

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5 Comments on “Day 8”

  1. Jessica says:

    you are an amazing human! evan and june are so lucky to have a mom that can teach to give from the heart and to make art out of sadness.

  2. KHL says:

    2000th comment?? Wow!

  3. Deborah says:

    This may come out a little inelegantly but I just have to say I am so thankful for the generousness and grace of you and Jarom allowing the rest of us to see a little bit into what you’re going through. It’s hard not being there to ‘do’ something to help, so being able to read and know what specific challenges you are facing daily makes it at least possible to know what specific things to pray for, which in turn, makes me feel like I can ‘do’ something, though small, to help and show I care. I’m just so impressed that you’re making it more possible for those around you near and far to know a little better how to ‘mourn with those that mourn’ rather than shuffling around feeling sad and not knowing what to do. So thank you for all the posting and for being such wonderful examples. We love you guys!
    Also I have a friend who I think would love something like you described. Let me know what you need.

    • Mika says:

      Is there any chance you could put me in touch with her by email or Facebook? I’d like to make something as close to her wishes as possible.


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