IdentityPosted: January 25, 2011 Filed under: Great Expectations 2 Comments
In my short experience as a mother, it’s been difficult for me to not feel like I’ve been completely absorbed into motherhood. Guilt sets in when I consider taking away from the Bwun and jr to do something just for me. The Romgi has patiently and repeatedly explained that I need to have time for myself, and I need to keep my own identity intact. There’s nothing wrong with defining myself as a mother first and everything else second – parenting really is an all-encompassing, non-stop occupation, and I love it.
I also love that I’m able to go to school right now. Somewhere in the back of my mind I realize that I won’t always have kids at home, and I want to still have my own personality and identity at that point. Having the chance to finish my degree, even if it’s taken way too long, will do so much for my sanity at the moment and my confidence in the long run.
I’m learning to embrace my identity instead of feeling overwhelmed by it or unhappy because of it. I’m not incompetent, I’m not a failure, I’m not a disappointing wife or mother. I am a thriving, talented, intelligent person and one of the many roles I’m privileged to take on is that of mother.
What are some of the roles you’ve taken on? How do they affect your perception of your identity?
Having just had Abigayle, I am primarily her mother. Then I am sometimes my boys’ mother, and sometimes their lifeguard (only intervening to save them from injury) , and sometimes their worst nightmare. Then I have recently started being Brandon’s wife again, and am thinking about being a visiting teacher. On Sundays for a couple hours I am a missionary/teacher/preacher to 10-11 yr old children. Occasionally I manage to be a sister and a daughter, and as of recently I managed for a short period of time to be a hostess at my house and a reformer of errant father-in-laws. Mostly, I’m Abigayle’s Mother and God’s daughter who is asking for a lot of help lately.
The best wife ever?
I cannot doubt this is true.
Also, best mother.