How to be a Hepburn in a Hilton World

by Jordan Christy

{ 2009 | Center Street | 208 pgs }

I won a copy of this book from a giveaway on someone’s blog. It sounded interesting: being classy instead of trashy, and examining why people like Paris Hilton capture the media’s attention.

Christy definitely makes some valid points. Better to be somewhat in the background as a well-dressed woman than splashed on the front page for not wearing underwear. Being poised and articulate will help you appear classy. Don’t let your guard down on social networking sites; potential employers won’t be impressed by your spring break pictures. Modesty = great.

Aside from the fact that, at least for me, these are no-brainers, Christy spends an inordinate amount of time giving fashion tips. She offers several quizzes to help you determine your fashion style, then fills pages with suggestions on what stores to shop at depending on your style. Ditto for makeup. Frankly, even though I got the book for free, I didn’t spend time reading it just to hear that Nordstrom’s has good clothes. The idea of emulating Audrey Hepburn for her grace quickly devolved into an issue of Elle or Vogue.

Pass on this one.

Audrey, Wait!

by Robin Benway

{ 2008 | Razorbill | 320 pgs }

So you remember Taylor Swift’s song “Teardrops on my Guitar”? And how it really is about her friend from school, Drew? And how he didn’t know then that she liked him, but he sure does now? Ok, now imagine that you’re a writer and this all sounds like a good idea for a book.

Benway reverses the roles (the boy writes a song about the girl) and adds a lot of drama, sex, and swearing. I’ve decided to never have teenage daughters. Audrey is the narrator; she breaks up with her boyfriend Evan at the beginning of the book, and as she’s walking away she hears him say, “Audrey, wait!” Later that night his band plays a song with that title, and before long it’s become a hit, propelling the band – and Audrey – into the national spotlight.

I don’t know much about Taylor Swift’s subject, but in the book, Audrey is hated by the thousands of girls who love Evan’s band and the song. She suffers endless torment, etc., etc. You can probably guess a lot of what happens just based on the fact that it’s a book about a teenage girl. It was a kind of fun story, but there was way too much swearing – and too many “Things I Hope My Daughter Never Does.” You’ll be ok skipping this one.

The Last Lecture

by Randy Pausch

{ 2008 | Hyperion | 224 pgs }

I hate to say this, but I wasn’t wowed by Pausch’s famous lecture and the book based on it. Call me hard-hearted, but it just didn’t feel nearly as moving as I expected.

(Seriously, this is coming from me; don’t you wonder if there’s something wrong with me now?)

In the tradition of professors giving their final classroom lectures before retiring, Pausch contemplates the most important things in his life as he faces fatal pancreatic cancer. Of course, all the basics were there – family, following your dreams, being true to yourself – but it wasn’t profound.

Yes, you may call me a horrible person.

(If you want a moving book, try Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Album instead.)