DragonfliesPosted: April 30, 2013 Filed under: The Story of a Mother 4 Comments
Those of you who know me well know that I’m a little . . . picky about design. It took me months to pick out a new door, and I did our own graduation announcements because the traditional options were too traditional. Our piano, tv console, and couches all have matching mid-century modern lines (and I’m looking at add a coffee table in the living room). I don’t care for things that are cutesy, frilly, pastel, or the like.
But I have a thing for dragonflies now.
When we were in the hospital, the bereavement counselor (Amy) brought several different outfits for us to choose from to dress Christian in. She also had little hats. The hat I picked just had a small ribbon across the bottom that said “It’s a boy!” – the others all had little animals or sports-related images. The “It’s a boy!” hat turned out to be too small, so Amy put a different hat on him. It had a dragonfly button on it. I didn’t notice at first, but she also put a tiny bracelet on his wrist – and it also had a dragonfly.
For some reason, the fact that we didn’t actively choose the matching dragonflies made it meaningful, maybe because it seems like it just fell into place. We kept the bracelet and the hat along with the other mementos in our box, and I had the thought a few days after Christian’s day that we could incorporate a dragonfly into his headstone. The design we had already chosen (which, again, was much more cutesy than I would usually care for) had two butterflies on it, so we had the monument company swap them out for dragonflies.
We also have some silver dragonflies for our wall that we bought several years ago, when I was expecting June[bug]. We’ll put them up in the living room as a nice reminder. I’m trying not to go overboard now – a dragonfly brooch for me? Cuff links for Jarom? A necklace for June? A tie for Evan? Just small things that we could wear to remember.
I thought about finding a rug to go under our someday-coffee table, but there are definitely NOT dragonfly rugs I like – with this exception (in many colors!). Of course, the website doesn’t list a price, which I’m pretty sure means I can’t afford it.
How great that his hat and bracelet happened to match!
I too do not like cutesy, frilly or pastel decor. I like straight lines and bold colors. Actually, I prefer primary colors but I don’t want my house to look like a circus tent.
I would love to talk with you. Our little boy, Leland, was born in January. He too was diagnosed with bilateral renal agenesis and lived for 93 minutes. I love your dragonfly idea- what a sweet way to remember your Christian.
And now the dragonfly will forever hold a place in my heart too. I think it is a perfect way to always have Christian close. Are you thinking of doing a dragonfly watercolor?
I already held them in awe, but I will never look at them again without reverence as well.