Violent

June has entered an unpleasant phase – she hits and punches Evan whenever she gets upset. It’s obvious that she does it to hurt him. Of course she goes straight into time out for hitting, punching, kicking, slapping, and so on, and we always have a talk afterwards about why those things are bad – and she can demonstrate what “soft” or “nice” behavior would be. But she’s so impulsive that it seems she can’t resist responding with violence when she thinks Evan has wronged her.

I know she’ll eventually get the message that what she’s doing isn’t ok, so for now I plan to stick with the time outs and discussion – June is smart enough that she understands the concept, it’s just hard to apply. Because she’s 2.

Evan went through a similar phase at a similar age, and he grew out of it. But it started when Jarom was in Korea for an internship while I was pregnant with June, so I had a hard time dealing with it. Fortunately it seems that a lot of things are easier the second time around, and I’m not as worried about June turning into a violent criminal. (At all, really. Can you imagine?) I don’t mean that I let her bad behavior slide or that I act unconcerned – I just don’t spend extra time fretting that I’m not doing a good job of parenting. For that reason, at least.

If your kids skipped this phase, please don’t tell me. I’d like to assume it’s standard.

Hard to believe this ball of cuteness could ever be mean-spirited.

Hard to believe this ball of cuteness could ever be mean-spirited.

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4 Comments on “Violent”

  1. Just wait until the age of verbal agression, though I don’t know if girls go through that as much or not. So instead of hitting now, Henry usually says something violent. The best so far was, “Just wait until I learn karate and chomp (chop) your leg off!” He does tend to kick walls or furniture still though if he gets really mad.

    • Mika says:

      Oh, fun. I’m glad there’s more to look forward to. Right now Evan’s big threat is to shout “I am not your friend anymore!!!!!” when he’s upset with me. Then he convinces June that she’s also not my friend.

  2. testingpinterest says:

    Oi. Brooklyn started this phase at 15 months! I was really freaked out at first – and I still have a hard time not getting super upset with her – but I have talked to lots of parents of older children whose kids have gone through the same. I mean, I’m pretty impatient and easily frustrated, so I can’t be too surprised when she is the same way. Learning is a life-long process, right? I like to think it means we’re “spirited” people.


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