Posted: December 29, 2005 Filed under: Bartleby the Scrivener Leave a comment
aeden (3), david (1), and amberly (4) playing the piano on christmas eve. 
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Jarom
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I’m only 100 pages in but this is one of the most interesting books I’ve ever read.
One week until Evan’s surgery. Swipe to see the x-rays of what I consider a ridiculously large “Why did you not mention this to us, Evan” tumor in his leg. Advice for preparing for surgery and recovery, for me and for him? We were told to expect 6 weeks for a full recovery, and this poor kid is bummed about no trampolines for a big chunk of summer vacation.
We have cousins in town for spring break, and I can't tell you how much I was looking forward to a few kid-free nights while they were all at grandma & grandpa's house. Ramona got a nasty cold at the beginning of the week so she's been home with me. I don't know if you know this, but "kid-free" and "sick toddler" don't generate the same sleeping conditions.
New friends are the best 😍
I attended a few events for the law school at the end of last month and stuck my name tags on my work calendar so I can be impressed with myself. I feel like (1) the admissions committee is crazy wack for thinking I deserve this scholarship, (2) who am I kidding thinking I could handle law school, (3) I'm so glad I started seeing a therapist NOW so I have a solid six months to work through my self-loathing issues. Fortunately Jarom is impressed enough with me for both of us, and he's more willing to brag.
If you get a package of swag in the mail, it's official, right? Law school here I come!
"Why does motherhood have to be about loss? I know there are great things ahead. But this - it's gone. Motherhood is knowing that you have to give up lovely moments and leave them behind, and you don't do it for yourself, you do it for someone who will have no idea the kind of love you feel for them until they sit holding their own baby and the world - the big, bright, amazing world - is suddenly contained in this tiny bundle." --Deep thoughts from my journal in 2016, the day I nursed Ramona for the last time.
Not-so-fun fact: even after Christian's death and several years of meeting LOTS of people who've lost a child, I still don't know what to say when I hear about someone's child passing away. Especially during the holidays. I think saying something is better than saying nothing, though. Fellow bereaved parents, what's your stance?
😭😭😭 I miss baby Ramona so much
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