this past week I’ve had a lot of bad dreams. a lot. and they stay with me all day. most of them involve me being pregnant. I thought I was stressed about school? what is this pregnancy crap showing up in my dreams? earlier when I was thinking maybe I’d go to bed soon, my heart started racing and I began feeling a sense of dread. my heart is still racing, and I’m not too keen on the whole sleep thing at the moment. it seems like only bad dreams will await me. it makes my night much less restful than it should be.
the thing is, even though I remember that I’m usually pregnant in these dreams, that isn’t the main terror-inducing element. it’s vague when I wake up, although the feeling of fear is very intense.
I don’t know what to do about this.
you get two points for driving us around everywhere yesterday, and another three if you read this. that puts you at about 47, I think.
this morning we went to the jelly belly factory tour, and then to the golden gate bridge. I like having people come visit us up here because then I get to do tourist-y things that aren’t in my normal routine. there’s a lot of san francisco I’ve never seen. still. sigh. oh well, we got some fun pictures anyway, despite the wind. actually I wanted some mika-is-here-at-the-golden-gate-bridge-looking-cool pictures, but the sun was always in my eyes. do they make tinted contacts? I tend to break or lose every pair of sunglasses I buy.
I talked to jarom this evening; he and ben made it safely to utah. he said the weather was really nice today. fortuitous again! (I think I said something interesting about the word in the post that was lost yesterday.) tomorrow I’m studying for a test, and packing, then heading back to utah myself on saturday. o the joys of traveling.
I had a long post written about today, but it got deleted somehow. oh joy. suffice it to say, the wedding was pleasant all around; here are a few of the pictures.
today my sister discovered, unhappily, that respite is pronounced reh-spit. not reh-spite or ree-spite or ree-spit or anything like that. she went on and on about how her ocd doesn’t handle it well when she’s had a word in her head for a long time and then she finds out it’s not really pronounced that way. ocd this, ocd that. sometimes I really do wonder.
at any rate, the new year is off to a decent start. my dress is coming along alright; krista and my mom were extremely helpful. krista even stayed until 12:30 working on it with me. I think it should be done in time. with any luck I’ll get it done tomorrow, hopefully by early evening, and then I’ve got to clean my room. a lot. julia deserves so much better than this. I really hope we get to see a bit of san francisco, but if the weather is bad it seems like probably not. maybe by thursday it will be less rainy. we put sandbags outside our garage this evening, though the rain has stopped now.
it’s late. I should go.