A clandestine meeting for pizza?? -Jarom

A different type of woohoo-have-fun. -Jarom

A lot of people die. -Nathaniel

A ninja’s heart is an ocean of secrets; be careful. -Stephanie

A photogenic memory -Pieter

A pirate jig; what I wouldn’t give to see that. -Nathaniel

A real fake leg. -Ammon

Absolute hoo-rah-ness! -Nemelka

Alex is Switzerland. –Skeet

Alicia likes carrots, Megan likes trail mix, and Tiffany will be curious and try the Japanese rice crackers! -Ann

Am I the world’s best teacher? No, this is just my least disadvantaged skill. -Prof. Wimmer

An army of small cars going back and forth between Salt Lake and Provo…what’s the problem? -Mom

Anarchy, that’s like the name of a sea or something. -anonymous

And one time on the AcaDeca retreat, someone asked me to “stoke it,” so I had no other choice but to “stoke it.” So I stoked it like I never stoked before. -Jeff

And the cold water stimulates your hyper cells… -Jarom

And you wonder that I have ANY dates! -Nemelka

Anytime you say “totally” you’re lying. -Ryan

Are they going with us at one…in…the…after…noon…? -Jarom

Be still, my beating spleen. -Nemelka

Because, like, sevens, ones, nines, they all look the same. -David

Belly buttons are very interesting. -Nemelka

Blindly trusting David, that was my first mistake. -Mika

Blue! The trees are dying. -Shalene

But finally, I’m not stupid anymore! -Jon Lim

But he would kill you in a good way. -Nemelka

But poles spice up my day! -Nathaniel

But then he e-mailed me. -Mika

But why buy it when you can steal it?! -Marylen

But, if stupid things ever become important, you’ll be a step ahead of the pack. -Dad

Buy textbooks and live the gospel. -heard in church

Can I tell you, that was really random? I’m reading about glaciers. -Mika

‘Cause we believe in recycling! [sounding smug] -Nemelka

Children…killing…children… -Rhea

Chris will design weapons of mass destruction – in an artistic way. -Andrew

Communal grooming should be more friendly. -Nathaniel

Communication is far overrated. -Crystal

Curse their black hearts! -Nathaniel

Depraved indifference to human life. -Jarom

Despite it being an annoyance, it really makes me feel special. -Mika

Did someone else die? -Shalene

Did you actually just say something to me? -Dad

Did you know it’s possible to peel off a peel in one peel? -Marylen

Did you lose any points for the ambulance incident? -Mika

Didn’t the Italians make violins or something? -Skeet

Do I look like I care right now? -Mr. Mitchell

Do I must? -Ammon

Do you know how hard it is to take a shower when you have the hiccups? -Crystal

Do you think I’m going to be able to concentrate with muffins going on down there?! -Kimberlee

Does JEFF know you’re a part of the Purple Party?! -Jarom

Does that look like a bear? Does that look like a bear?? No!! It’s a wolverine!!!! -Skeet

Doesn’t make him any less of an old man. For example, one pygmy could say to another pygmy, “Hey, squirt!” -Dad

Don’t cheat on a 110 exam, that’s selling yourself way too short. At least go rob a bank or something. -Prof. Grandy

Don’t focus on the fact that you’re not telling the truth. -Mme Williams

Don’t honk at missionaries. They might fall over! -heard in church

Duct tape is the equivalent of being tarred-and-feathered these days. -Nemelka

Dude, though, have you seen the professionals? They don’t look like mimes, they look like strippers. -anonymous

Ears are like buffalo wings! -Kendy

Eee! She hidden! -Nemelka

Every day with me is a romantic adventure. -Julia

Every Friday, people die. -Kendy

Every time I see one of these, I understand so much more about my life! -Jared

Every time someone said my name, it would be like throwing daggers through my heart. -Mika (in reply to the question of calling me Meighck)

Every time you brake, an angel cries! -Nathaniel

Excuse me, sir, where did you get that popsicle? -anonymous

For once, you guys are the weird ones. -Va Yee

For some reason, the fur on all my stuffed animals makes them look like they’re angry at me. -Andrew

Fun-my-fun!!!!! -Goze

Goodnight, unworthy carcass! -Kimberlee

Goze, is there a reason you’re here? -Skeet

Greedy, comparative brats! -Scott

Has anyone ever told you you look like a cat? -Ryan

Have you ever felt symbolic? Neither have I. -Nemelka

Have you ever massaged the head of a broccoli? -Skeet

Have you ever noticed how even though we’re only an hour apart, it’s always so much earlier there? -Nemelka

Have you ever seen a pregnant pig? -Skeet

Have you ever used floss for a belt? -Nemelka

He doesn’t act like he cares about trying to be nice to people. -Nemelka

He doesn’t have much teeth. -Mika

He flirted with me a lot. It was fun! -anonymous

He gives me $100 every birthday and $100 every September. No, that’s my birthday… -Alex

He’s a quasi-clever mastermind, but he also dances! -Nathaniel

He’s an overly-animated person, you could totally picture him in a cartoon! -anonymous

He’s as taller as I am… -Nemelka

He’s dying of a slow death. -anonymous

He’s like a reptilian ferret. -Nathaniel

He’s not imperial! Heck, he’s not even Chinese! -Andrew

He’s such a cute little anteater sheepdog! -Katrina

Hey! A vacuum! -Nemelka

Hey, guys? I decided that I’m officially awesome. -Mika

Hey, I just punched my face! -John

Hey, I want CPR! -Va Yee

Hold on, I need drugs so I can come up with good ideas. -Mom

Holy fluff. -Nemelka

Honey, we are not buying a hatbox for your stupid Nascar hats! -anonymous

Hot, with a K! -Alex

How to kill Mika: build a wall. -Crystal

Hugs are like jigsaw puzzles. -Jaime

Huh! It is a grabbable shirt! -Elle

I always knew I’d become a genius…I never knew it would be on account of cups! -Nemelka

I am a full-time worker in the seventh circle of hell (i.e. retail employment). -anonymous

I am going to get rid of my fridge, all of our cars, and anything else that is dangerous. -Tisha

I burp in the weirdest ways. -Kimberlee

I can facilitate that. -Nemelka

I can see the thoughts trying to connect in your head. -Ann

I can’t feel my thumbs. -Shalene

I could bring…what do you call them…muffins! -Rhea

I could give you a box! -Nemelka

I decided that I’m a mix between my mom and my dad. -Nemelka

I didn’t even know she was stalking me until after we were married. -anonymous

I didn’t have that many friends in high school, so they couldn’t die. -Angela

I don’t have a train of thought, I just have a bunch of cabooses. -Nicole

I don’t understand how this works. It says you’re supposed to push the button. -Nicole

I don’t know if that was my bangs or a bug. -Kendy

I don’t like January. Hence the cowboy hat. -Mika

I don’t mind being manipulated if it’s done well. –Bro. Taggart

I don’t think he has any more points to minus. -Kendy

I don’t think that’s quite what she said. [pause] …No, that wasn’t it. No. But close. -Mika

I don’t want to be a Barbie. I’d rather be a Cabbage Patch. -Katie

I don’t w
ant to carry around ten pounds of Sacagawea in my pocket. -anonymous

I feel bad for anyone who tries to psychoanalyze us. -Mika

I feel stupid when I talk to someone and it’s not really them. -Mika

I feel this exchange of knowledge was strangely gratifying. -Nathaniel

I felt like an iguana. -Mika

I flossed my cat. -anonymous

I had a debate with myself, and obviously I won. -Dad

I hate being killed. -Mika

I have a great memory, it just doesn’t last long. -Bro. Nelson

I have a simple mind! -John

I have academic pursuits to pursue… -Skeet

“I have dreamed a dream.” …no kidding, what else are you going to do with a dream? -Prof. Swift

I have no brains! -Kimberlee

I have to make sure that everyone hears everything I say. -Nemelka

I have to say that the scores in this class were a little low. That tells me something…man, you guys are dumb! -Prof. Swift

I just feel like a loser. A hungry loser, at that. -Mika

I just like…inhaled the moisture from my gum! -Alicia

I just lost to myself in tic-tac-toe. I feel kinda stupid. -Chris

I just met your ex-fiancée’s fiancé. -anonymous

I knew it! I knew you were sleeping with that monkey! -Jarom

I know you get to vote and all, but…don’t take our suits. -Alex

I like being in the air. It’s just the falling to the ground part that sucks. -Mark

I like bread!! -Goze

I like gum. Some kinds of gum. Actually I don’t really like gum that much. -Nemelka

I like Shakespeare. He makes me giddy. -Nemelka

I like swords as much as you do, but I’d take a nap before I’d take a sword. -Stephanie

I like the monkeys with their furry little butts! -Katrina

I like them ’cause they’re mimes, and mime is like a bird. -Katrina

I like to IM people and tell them, “You are an APPLE.” -Andrew

I like to shatter boys’ dreams. -Kimberlee

I love BYU. I don’t even need my pornography anymore. -anonymous

I love kindred spirits. Let’s burn ’em. -Shalene

I love me too. -Mika

I made an analogy today. It wasn’t even out loud and it was horrible. -Mika

I mean, who has time for father-daughter conversations when there’s pie? -anonymous

I need a girlfriend. I love lovin’ people, I love getting lovin’. -anonymous

I never repent so fast! -heard in church

I only make out with cool nerds. -Julia

I really love reading…used to. -Rhea

I said, like, eight things today! -Mika

I see a lot of weird thing in Utah. -Ammon

I smell fat. -John

I started out playing chess, and moved on to more evil games. -Brian

I think about big, fat roses. -Jeff

I think I just thought of something. -Mika

I think I’d die of boredom if I was ever in a coma. -Mika

I think I’ll shy away from the “whole wheat snickerdoodles + Moxie = ?” equation. -Mika

I think it’s kind of cool that your mind can surprise you. -Mika

I think Mika could make a living out of being pathetic. -Mom

I think my back teeth are too sharp. I keep biting my cheeks. It hurts. -Nemelka

I think the card and the e-mail are slightly more patient than me. -Mika

I think they should do random drug tests. Oh, wait, maybe they shouldn’t… -Alicia

I think they were invented by guys who wanted to have an excuse to have girls falling all over them. -Mika

I think we’re learning. I hope. -Prof. Swift

I think you have a fetish with smelling things. -Shalene

I think you overrate your legs. -Dad

I totally missed my face on that one. -John

I tried reading Anne of Green Gables once. And then my soda blew up on it. I figured it was a sign. -Katie

I used to think you were gentle! -Nemelka

I vote that you’re a sick little politician! -Chris

I wanna do my chemistry, but I don’t wanna go to hell… -Brother Minert

I was in third grade the first time someone non-familial bit me. I bit them back. -Emily

I was like Dorothy of Oz—I had mine all along. I just didn’t know it. -heard in church (about having a testimony)

I was really bored, so I made up a song. It only has one line. -Nemelka

I was trying to think, that’s what the problem was. -Mom

I wasn’t actually trying to manipulate you, but it worked really well. -Mom

I went fwah! and fwah! and I fell down a lot. -Katie

I went on a top-secret mission to kill Sadaam Hussein, but I missed and so they sent me back to school. -Kellin

I wish I had no hair and my body was, like, fluff! -Katrina

I wonder if eating paper will make me feel better. It always used to when I was little. -Nemelka

I won’t kill you for anything, but I can guarantee some violence if you shave your head. -Mika

I would hate to be tied up with dental floss. Unless it was minty fresh! -Victoria

I’ve seen a movie with water stuff like that before! -Nicole

Ice cream is like the drug of Utah. -Jarom

I’d be kind of scared. People die in those. -Nemelka

I’d miss her, even if she was a tyrant! -Nemelka

I’d offer you a place to live if I lived somewhere. -Nemelka

I’d rather be embarrassed than be blown up. -Elle

I’d rather be pierced to the heart with the scriptures than with a spear. -Elle

If all else fails, you’re screwed. -Ryan Watkins

If I had a million dollars, I’d be a kamikaze driver. -Julia

If I were gonna be helpful, I’d be someone else. -Mom

If I were to make a monster, I think I’d do it with flan. It seems like a good, blobby material. -Nathaniel

If it’s small and annoying, smash it with a stick. -David

If Kimberlee ever goes to hell, it will be a room full of food she hates! -Julia

If misery were sort of a thick pink color, wallowing in it might be kind of fun. -Mom

If Ryan’s mouth is moving, or his fingers are moving, he’s lying. -Stephanie

If you bite wrong, you get the whole thing! -Nicole

If you die, can I have your stuff? And sell it on e-Bay? To buy cookies? And Dilbert cartoons? -Andrew

If you die, I’m gonna bring a Get Well balloon to your funeral. -anonymous

If you think that the Lord will preserve you until you finish, you’re wrong. You just die off. -Prof. Skousen

If you think you’re going to look back on today and laugh, why not start laughing now? -heard in church

If you were poor, and you didn’t have a goose, you could use a chicken. -Mika

If you’re in a coma, you’re a vegetable. So instead of dying of boredom, you could join VeggieTales—”The alternative to dying.” -Stephanie

If you’re unsure if you have missionaries in your home… -heard in church

Ignorance is not an excuse for stupidity. -Jarom

I’m a laissez-faire kinda guy. -anonymous

I’m a tadpole! -Mika

I’m evil! You missed. -Nemelka

I’m glad I grew up on East Tennessee Street, because now I know how to spell Tennessee. -Mika

I’m glad you can comfortably picture me as a zombie. -Nathaniel

I’m just all-around adorable. -Mika

I’m just being negative and contradictory. Please excuse me. -Angela

I’m not a baby! I’m not a baby! ‘Cause babies are naked! -heard in church

I’m not a loser because I like clean feet! -Katie

I’m not heartless, I’m just…good! -Kimberlee

I’m so glad my social life is your entertainment. -anonymous

I’m so happy! I have an apple! -Elle

I’m sure that some of life’s most interesting things happen when you’re supposed to be doing something else. –

In a dream world, Christopher Plummer is Mormon. -Julia

Is it boring, or is it just something you don’t find interesting? -Aunt Carole

Is that an olive branch? -anonymous

Is that the same Bernoulli? -Mika

Is the door moving, or am I? -Mika

It always seems to look so much better outside of the death and danger. -Nathaniel

It contradicts everything jeans have ever stood for. -Nathaniel

It made me make a noise. -Mika

It sounds like they’re slaying a brontosaurus. -Jarom

It sucks to be struck by electricity. I know. It happened when I was cleaning out my Playstation 2. I forgot to turn the power off. -Mark

It was like you bit into a poisonous ice cube. -Chris

It’s all taped together, and held together with…tape. -Aunt Carole

It’s a jelly donut, not a cigarette. -Mika

It’s a sign of protest. -Allison

It’s always nice when these weird sounds are real. -Mika

It’s called spit. -Nemelka

It’s comfortable and good, but weird and gross. -Nathaniel

It’s from Orem. It has to be true. -Mika

It’s funny first, and then it’s confusing. -Mika

It’s good people aren’t cats. -Mika

It’s great, ’cause she can be an ideal hag. -Nathaniel

It’s hard to change the way they look without making it pretty obvious that they’re dumb. -Mika

It’s hard to turn down flirting though, it’s so flattering. -Ryan

It’s like a big stripy-thing in the sky! -Margaret

It’s like a Furby on steroids! -Jeff Jeff Jeffrey

It’s like a giant bathtub. Only not. And there’s no soap. -Kristina

It’s like an elephant-shark-zebra-cobra thing. -Nemelka

It’s like Elvis, but Samoan. -Jarom

It’s like growing a mushroom and then doing nothing with it! -Mika

It’s murder in the dark but for kids, and you don’t tell them they’re dying. -Shalene

It’s painful being smart. -Jarom

It’s scary having all these big blobs coming at you! -Katie

It’s the some-o’clock rush! -Mika

It’s too bad you’ve been facing a lot more homicidal raving lunatics in your dreams lately. -Nathaniel

I’ve decided to leave politics for finance. I figure, why be a senator when you can buy ten? -Andrew

I’ve noticed something in this journal…it’s mostly about girls. I mean, what’s up with that? -Jarom

I’ve seen frogs in Utah. -Nemelka

Julia, you want to kill everyone…someday, you can. -Nathaniel

Just be quiet and read your scriptures! -Ryan

Kendy? Oh, I thought you were dead. -Johnny

Killing people is illegal! \ But it’s good for the soul. -Chris \ Andrew

Kimberlee has a Jack! Kimberlee is special. -Kimberlee

Kimberlee, we miss you almost! -Mika

Kindergarten. Kindergarten…kindergarten. -Jessica Lee

Lambs…you know, the big, white, fluffy things? -Katie

Last time I checked, those were my shoes. -Mika

Lemme tell ya, lemme tell ya… -Elizabeth

Let me see if I know what I’m talking about. If not, then I don’t want to talk about it. -Stacius

Let’s see if you can quantify your anguish. -Dad

Let’s talk about you since that’s your favorite topic. -Kimberlee

Like a watch-on-the-wall clock? -Crystal

Like the Grand Canyon, times…a lot. -Ryan

Look at Goze. She doesn’t know what we’re talking about, so she frowns. -Quesha

Look at how conceited you made me!…It’s awesome! -Mika

Look at that shuffling job. Have you ever seen anything finer? Besides me, I mean. -Leslee

Look, you can lay on my bed, but you can’t rename my dog! -Nemelka

Looking back, in retrospect… -Mika

Looks like it’s time to kill Kim! -Michael

Lots of people seem awesome until you meet them in person. -Mom

Maybe you should take an art class. Then it would be easier for you to illustrate your point. -Dad

McDonald’s Family Brothel: One girl to go. -Dad

Mom, I need help! -Mika

Money? Chocolate? Hippos? Nothing has worked so far. -Kendy

Mo-om!…I’m awesome! -Mika

Most of us don’t go quark-watching on a Saturday afternoon. -Professor Fisher

My dad can’t have me executed, I don’t think… -Stephan Dean

My fingertips are shiny, it’s like I’m bald. -Jon Lim

My girlfriend has rabies! -Jeff

My gosh! Don’t I ever shut up? -Mika

My laundry bag is following me. -Nemelka

My overactive conscience can’t handle your deriding. -Nemelka

My pants are still wet! They feel like dead grass. -Nemelka

My parents are trying to buy me off with material possessions, when all I really want is love! -Katrina

My tongue tastes funny when I do that. -Nemelka

Naked water chestnuts? Can you say that? -Jared

Negative feelings and emotions can really ruin your life. -heard in church

Never eat sheep while you’re naked! -Tisha

Nix that apostate! -Crystal

No sending turkeys in the mail. That’s not what the U.S. Postal Service is for. -Mika

No, ’cause they can’t talk to anyone. -Nicole

No, I mean, that’s really sort of dumb. -Prof. Skousen

No, my butt fell asleep. -Skeet

Not the death part, but freezing is good. -Ryan

Now I have Rice Krispies stuck to my teeth. That was a waste of my time. -Kimberlee

Now that we have Family Home Evening coming back into vogue… -Prof. Skousen

Now, let’s say you’re stupid. You can’t think for yourself. How do you go about doing a lab report? -Mr. Ortiz

Oh so cute!…and deadly. -Nemelka

Oh wow! You have drawers! -Nemelka

Oh, great. It’s a girl. -Mika

Oh, I am watching. -Kimberlee and Julia (the swimming scene in Pride & Prejudice with Colin Firth)

Oh, I’m so shallow! Look at me! I’m so shallow! -Mika

Oh, yeah, that’s just weird back-east stuff. -Prof. Skousen

Oh, your own stupidity has dawned upon you. -Jarom

Okay my teacher told us to think of the protons as returned missionaries, and the electrons as unmarried girls. -anonymous

Okay, which nerd carries white-out? -Matt

Once I walked through a tunnel. It was really scary. -Goze

Once you know the rules of English, you’re allowed to break them. -Prof. Grandy

One copy to edit, one copy to burn. -Mika

Ooh, it’s poking you! Maybe it’s in love with you. -Katie

Ooh, yes, freshmen are malleable. -Nathaniel

Our only friends are highlighters. -Timmy

Pakistan? Isn’t that a country? -Andrew Gemmer

People are piling in! Yes, like armadillos! -Jarom

People out there in the real world will never be as mean as your family. -Dad

Pharaoh saw a lot of miracles. I mean, they were annoying miracles, but miracles nonetheless. -heard in church

Pikachu says coo! -Kimberlee

Pillbug I saw, then pillbug I went. -Shalene

Pink bottles of antipathogens! -Nemelka

Plaster! My bookbag is misting! -Shalene

Polyester…and life was grand. -Shalene

Prune! Prune!…I love life. -Shalene

Puritans were…euhl. I wouldn’t wanna meet them down a dark alley. -Kimberlee

Remember in sixth grade? He was really smart! -anonymous

Revenge is a dish best served cold. And everybody loves ice cream! -Andrew

Rules are just suggestions. -Mrs. Burke

Running is futile. Unless it’s from some giant fireball death thing. Then it’s not futile. -Andrew

S…as in squid. -Mika

Say something quotable. -Mika

See, it’s way easier to find a mate when you only talk to one person. -Ammon

She probably doesn’t even have a mute about the cadence of where I’m going to be. Watch. -Nemelka

She’s a little slow, if you didn’t catch that from the mayonnaise ordeal. -Katie

She’s awfully floppy. I mean I know she’s dead, but . . . -Mika

She’s kind of like an ancient prostitute. -heard in church

She’s the Asian Martha Stewart! -anonymous

Shiny…Ewoks…you know? -David

Smart people don’t do what we’re doing. -Alex’s dad

So this is why I like giraffes. -Mika

So you do have the guys all up ons…just the wrong guys! -Nathaniel

So, even convicted felons can help in many ways. -Prof. Skousen

Some ancient tribal deer antler mask thing. -Kendy

Somebody said I sound like a whore that smokes too much. -Goze

Someone needs to develop truly burpless cucumbers. -Scott

Sometimes I impress myself, but usually I’m just confused. -Mika

Sometimes there’s just no excuse for that kind of comfort. -Jarom

Sort of a reverse-polygamy thing. -anonymous

Swimming in debt is not so fabulous. Better than swimming in an alligator-infested pond, though. -Mika

Thank heaven for heaven, y’know? -Nemelka

Thank you for your out-of-the-box dinner. -Angela

That man is a blaggart, bless his heart! -Nemelka

That was a great epiphany!…I need a hat. -Mika

That was all good stuff we skipped. -heard in church

That was just a side note, sort of a leaking-out of the truth. -Prof. Skousen

That’s more than you’re allotted! -Mika

That’s what I forgot!…My baby! -Alex

That’s what that was! I knew it was a horrible smell that I’d smelled before. -Mika

That’s why we can’t ever have a sleepover…we would kill Kimberlee and then regret it in the morning, because that’s when she’s cool again. -Julia

The allegations alleged against him… -heard in church

The door’s open! What’s your problem?? -Mika

The essence of Mika is hard to capture over the internet if not experienced in person first. -Julia

The government is run by humans – I mean, technically humans… -Andrew

The Orange…the Pineapple…the Mika… -Skeet

The other day I was reading this book, and it turns out that all of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were named after famous artists!! -anonymous

The roads were twindy. -Jarom

The weird ones are automatically the most desperate. -Kimberlee

There are so many notes on your forehead, I think this one would get lost. -Mom

There have to be cute boys in heaven. -Margaret

There’s no such thing as an accident, only an unexpected outcome. -Skeet

There’s a lot of pieces, but it’s still a leg! -Nemelka

There’s just walls of vegetation!! -Ryan

There’s something on your wrist, it looks like a little organic stain. -Kendy

These glasses are so fun. -Nicole

They had frills everywhere! -Kimberly

They lived happily ever after. And then… -Va Yee

They made me think things. -Jeff

They sucked all the air out of this poor bag! -Kristina

They’re just so big and clonky! -anonymous

They’re like clowns, but in a different, less freaky sort of way. -Nathaniel

They’re thinner and more angular, and they look stupid. -Mika

They’re trying to take over your body! They’re agents of Satan! Ooh, I like this theory. -Kendy

Things that go shine… -Jarom

This building was made by Satan, you know that?! -anonymous

This chalk is a good citizen in the universe. It always obeys the law of gravity. -Prof. Wimmer

This is like a black hole of paper-sucking zombies! -Kendy

This is the pivotal moment… -Nemelka

This is why I don’t like to play games where I can’t cheat and win. -anonymous

This song would be way better if it was something different. -Mika

This sounds weird, but I hope whoever I marry doesn’t like golf. -Nemelka

Those are the only colors of light I know. Everything else is an abomination. -Mr. Mitchell

To do: kill Kim. -Michael

Turza…that’s a name that strikes fear in the hearts of men. -Julia

United airlines has huge fixed costs…they’re called airplanes. -econ TA

Unless it’s geology. Then it’s interesting, but still boring. -Elle

Wait, what? You’re buying us dessert? Oh, is that because you’re deserting us… ? -Mika

Way-back-far stuff. -Meg the Han

We always need more tragedy in children’s literature. -Nathaniel

We Americans don’t need the devil. -Stephen

We called her “Mother Kitty” because she had a lot of kittens when she was little. Yeah, she was a harlot. -John

We don’t talk about them, because…they lost, so why do we care? -American Heritage TA

We flirt for fun. -Mika

We love him because he’s a good source of protein! -Melissa

We need a shorter alphabet. -Michael

We never even went on a date, I just nibbled on her ear! -Ryan

We should all bring Mao into our lives. -Jarom

We should play Murder in the Dark with real weapons. -Kimberlee

We’d be like, “Oh, we’re so awesome! We’re old! We’re alive!” -Mika

We’ve got this oo-ee-oo thing going on here! -Nemelka

“Well-pleased…” it sounds so dorky! -Mom

What a waste of a prayer! -Mika

What are thinking skills? -Jarom

What did you do??…Or did I do that? -Mika

What does this word problem mean? It means Johnny won’t get a hamburger and Susie is going out with Fred. -Dad

What is it about movie credits that makes a woman have to use the restroom? -anonymous

What is that really cold part?…Siberia. -Jarom

What! You’re not Ali! You’re not even…literate! -Strong Bad

What’s that Narnia book about? …Narnia? -Julia

What’s that sticky stuff that comes out of trees? -Shawnelle

What’s the point of having a job if you can’t be evil?

What’s with my inability to drink? -Julia

When I die, I hope I get a giant spoon. -Andrew

When I get mad, I get ugly…and when I’m ugly, I’m not pretty! -Taylor

When lemmings run, it’s like a ball of fat rolling along. -Nathaniel

When the bird’s head hits the water… -anonymous

When you serve it’s fun sometimes…and sometimes it’s not, like when it’s punishment. -heard in church

Where’s my noose? -Kimberlee

Who are we to not do his temple work because we think he’s a loser? -Bro. Minert

Who needs a family when you have butter? -anonymous

Who needs cute guys when there’s bushes? -Shalene

Who needs ladies when you’ve got lotion like this? -Aragon

Who on earth gets sick that much?! It’s ridiculous!! -Ryan

Whoever said “learning is fun” has either never had fun or never learned. -Prof. Swift

Why are iguanas so much fun? -Mika

Why are you such a failure? -Michael

Why do I have to be dumb? I don’t understand. -Angela

Why does it trouble me to be drinking something that’s almost pure dye? -Nemelka

Why don’t you just start talking again, because this is pissing me off more than you talking! -Julia

Why is our ward so…barren? -Ammon

Why is this on my leg?! -Jared

Words like somewhere, someone—what are those? They’re very…different. -anonymous

Would you come if y
ou were engaged? -Tait

Would you like some of my hair? -Nemelka

Yeah, that’s pleasant. I like making people cocky. -Ryan

Yeah, they make me sound like I’m hecka intellectual! -Raeanna

Yeah, what’s up with giraffes?? -Mika

Yeah, you don’t wanna see what your voodoo doll looks like! -Crystal

You always need more exercise; you always need more AA batteries. -Mika

You always hear “sex and violence” together in the media…sex I’m all in favor of, but violence, that I’m categorically opposed to. -Prof. Jackson

You and the word “doctor” scare me. -Andrew

You are a part of the house you live in. -heard in church

You can hear the thought dying… -Jarom

You cannot capture beauty unless it is naturally as large as your desktop. Sorry. -Nathaniel

You don’t make out with ferrets? Why not?! It’s fun!! -Jarom

You go to shmagegie and you get a nice bag. -Marylen

You have to understand, cornbread’s a very versatile food. It just does what it wants. -Ryan

You know there are people who don’t believe we ever went to the moon? Well I wonder if—hey look, it’s made in France!—someone doesn’t believe there was really a Great Salt Lake. [long pause] I think I have Attention Deficit Disorder. -Mika

You know what that big hole out there looks like? It looks a parking lot for Tonka Toys. -Prof. Wimmer

You know what the sad thing is? You just can’t tie ice cubes to anything. -Nemelka

You know, as the day progresses, I feel slightly smarter. -Rhea

You know, I wish they had Economics of the Law of Consecration. -anonymous

You know, if you do this around your neck long enough you can’t feel your neck anymore. It’s almost like your head is floating out there. -Skeet

You know, you look really innocent at first, but you’re PURE EVIL! -Kimberlee

You stupid backpack! Stop trying to eat my foot! -Anna

You think you think, but you’re not sure. -Jarom

You weren’t stupid, you were ill-informed. -Prof. Wimmer

You will have clean hair from here to eternity! -Mom

Your “serious” and your “not serious” sound exactly the same. -Dad

Your coke addiction is driving me to the poorhouse! -Nemelka

Your hair is all…yeah. Because you didn’t wake up, and neither did it. -Jarom

Your lotion smells like Fruit Loops or something. -Shalene

Your name is Mika, right? -Jarom

Your nose looks like something that should be on some weird animal when I poke it like that.

Your whole mind is subliminal! -Mom

You’re cruel and unusual! -Kendy

You’re desecrating the scrunchie! -Kendy

You’re going to college? Are you going to get big? Are you going to be HUGE? -heard in church

You’re gonna confuse me and I’m gonna confuse you and we’ll be cool ’cause we have a Sarah!

You’re like a dinosaur. I’d like a dinosaur for a pet. -Johnny

You’re too cute to be innocent all the time. -Kimberlee

You’re ugly! Stick poke stick poke! -Melissa (you have to imagine it in that cool voice, of course)