A New Job

Posted: September 11, 2008 | Author: Jarom | Filed under: War and Peace | Leave a comment

My time at the law school has ended. When I was hired full time, it was with the understanding that the job would only last until the end of August. I started my search for a new place of employment at the beginning of August. The trouble in being in a college town with a lot of college grads, is that you have college grads doing jobs that high-school grads are doing in other places. It really doesn’t give you much of a leap ahead as far as job hunting goes.

That being said, I wasn’t exactly able to find the greatest job in the world. I’m working in a customer care center for a security system company. There are a lot of interesting people working there, and despite the occasional call that I wish I didn’t get, I think that I will enjoy my time working at the company.

Except for one thing. Some of my coworkers love to talk politics. I hate politics. It is the number one reason that I stopped studying it. Also, I’m just not wild about any of the candidates. I see equally compelling reasons for NOT voting for any of them. Here is my quick rundown.

1. McCain

Reason to vote – Years of experience in politics.

Reason to not vote – Years of experience in dirty politics. I just don’t like him.

VP Palin

Reason to vote – ?

Reason to not vote – I think it is silly for republicans to say that Obama has no real political experience, and then pick Palin. She has only been mayor of a small town in Alaska (even the “big” cities there are small), and then governor of Alaska for less than two years.

2. Obama

Reason to vote – Very convincing speaker, and charismatic.

Reason to not vote – Feel-goodery doesn’t mean you can run a country

VP Biden

Reason to vote – ???

Reason to not vote -I think is is silly for democrats to say that McCain is an old white guy who is out of touch with America, and then to pick an old white guy that nobody has ever heard of.

So there you go. Who do you guys think will make a better President? better VP? I don’t even know if I will be voting this election because I don’t think that an election should come down to who I dislike the least.

Scariest Thing Ever?? Quite Possibly.

Posted: August 27, 2008 | Author: Jarom | Filed under: Importance of Being Earnest | Leave a comment

As many of you know, I am fond of looking at the news every day. Sometimes, I am shocked by what I see, other times I am uplifted. Today, I was horrified.

First, I think you need to know something. I hate cats. Hate. Them. People go on about how intelligent cats are and how independent they are, but does that really matter? I say they are cold and plotting. You know what else is highly intelligent, cold and plotting? Serial killers. A respected source (read: wikipedia) says many serial killers have above average intelligence, but you don’t see people going on about how serial killers make great pets. Yes, i just compared cats to serial killers.

So what could be more terrifying than a regular cat? How about a cat with wings? Terrified? But don’t worry, they don’t exist… OR DO THEY?

How would you like THAT flying at you?

OK, so that isn’t really what happened. I’m not sure how trustworthy this news source is but it looks like the story is legit. During a recent hot spell in the Sichuan province in China, a couple of cats began to have growths develop on their backs. They started as little bumps, and then grew into wings. You can read the article here (it even has pictures).

The cats can’t fly… yet. But we already know they are agile, AND intelligent. How long do we really have until they figure out how to fly? Our greatest fears are about to come true. If global warming is really happening, and if all it takes for cats to sprout wings is a good hot spell, then I see a whole world of hurt coming our way. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Pretty Long, But Worth It

Posted: August 19, 2008 | Author: Jarom | Filed under: Importance of Being Earnest | Leave a comment

Every now and then (more often than you would think) we get spam faxes at the law school. I didn’t know there was such a thing as a spam fax until I worked here. We got one today, and I just had to post it. It is long, but… well, you’ll see. Here it is (spelling and grammar mistakes and all).

To Whom It May Concern,
I, Sean Michael Tooley, Am Seeking Representation/Help For
Me As A Victim Of Crime In The United States By
The Central Intelligence Agency.
Richard Williams,
Belinda Mclees,
Jim Mclees,
Andrea Hopkins,
Chuck Williams, And
Charles Williams,
Are Operating Illegal Wire Taps On Me, And Using The Wire Taps On me They Are Operating L.A.S.E.R. Weapon Systems/Machines On Me In My Home, And Out In The Public, Shooting Me In The Liver Giving Me Liver Failure, Killing Me, In There Efforts to Kill Me, “Furthermore, The Central Intelligence Agency Is Using The Internet To Tell EveryBody To Lie and Paying People Off To Lie Regarding There Public Execution Of Me Being Viewed By The Public On Internet.

This Is A Public Execution By The Central Intelligence Agency And Is Not United States National Security. “In Addition The C.I.A. Is Using The Internet To Run A Parliamentary/Domestic Terrorism Operation On Me Out In The Public By U.S. Citizens To Secure There Public Execution Of Me With Ultra-Violet L.A.S.E.R.’s.

Please Help Me. I Need Protection From These Individuals And To Be Removed From There L.A.S.E.R. Weapons Systems Being Operated One Me, Shot Into My Liver, Giving Me Liver Failure, Killing Me.

I Need Help With The Fact That EveryBody In The U.S. Is Lying, And Being Asked To Lie By The C.I.A., And I Need To Be Put In Contact With The Covert People/Outside People Who Continue To Secretly Sue The Central Intelligence Agency Regarding The Illegal Operation To Publicly Execute Me.

Thank You,

Sean Michael Tooley

Isn’t that great? We got TWO letters from this guy! The other one is about the same, but goes on about operation “PURPLE.”