Convinced

After jr was born I felt really comfortable with just having two kids. Between the Bwun and jr, things seemed complete. Of course, everyone told me I would change my mind – though I still disagree that deciding to have a third child is somehow inescapable.

A few days ago one of my best friends had her first baby, and we got to go see them in the hospital.

Oh dear.

The real trouble is that recently I had a three-hour stretch of “I desperately want another baby (eventually)” hormone-fueled desire. It went away, aided by the fact that I already have a (relatively) wild toddler and a currently-clingy baby. But for those three hours, it was hard to argue with the feeling. It was intense. And then after I’d gotten over it, I held a newborn. A tiny five-pound newborn bundled up in a hospital blanket. The feeling definitely came back.

I was sort of counting on the Romgi to talk me out of it or remind me that I said “NO MORE KIDS” repeatedly (quite forcefully, I might add).

Instead he just said, in his mild way, that it would be fine after we graduate in April.

The stubborn part of me wants to change my mind back to “two kids is enough,” for no other reason than to prove everyone wrong. I don’t want to be convinced that I want another (eventually).

But…I am convinced. Sigh.

The Bwun

jr