Misquoted

Yesterday in church the first speaker gave what I’m sure would have been a great talk had he not ruined his credibility in the first two sentences. The talk started something like this:

“Maybe I’m dating myself here, but there used to be a bunch of commercials with this dog named Scruff McGruff, who warned kids to stay away from crime.”

Everyone likes Scruff McGruff! And in fact, he’s still around, with his own website and even a blog.

Remember this guy?

The speaker continued, “Scruff McGruff said something at the end of every commercial that I think is really worth mentioning: ‘Knowing is half the battle.'”

…

…

…

You see the problem, right? Seriously, I thought everyone knew that it was the G.I. Joe cartoon that always ended with “Now we know, and knowing is half the battle!”

The real source of the quote.

It doesn’t even make sense for Scruff McGruff to say that “Knowing is half the battle.” If you know what things are criminal, you can avoid doing them? I dunno. Seems shady to me.

Thanks, older brothers, for watching the G.I. Joe cartoon so that I could feel smug and superior during church yesterday!

Hogle Zoo 2008

For our nephew Brandon’s 2nd birthday, the Romgi and I thought it would be fun to spend a day at the zoo. Brandon is one of the most adorable little boys I know, and usually one of my favorite people to be around. This day at the zoo convinced me that I really, honestly, truly do not like kids.

At all.

It seemed like a good idea at the time to go on “Boo at the Zoo” day – the Saturday just before Halloween, when the zoo invites kids to come in costume and get candy at a bunch of different animal exhibits. We managed to find a parking spot after about 10 minutes and then entered the line to buy tickets. Somehow we ended up on the side of the ticket booth that had only one window open, and we stood for about 30-40 minutes slowly inching up towards the ticket window.

Brandon removed his costume after approximately 2.25 minutes in line.

We were almost up to the window, with only a few people ahead of us, when this guy at the front of the line decides that now is a good time to apply for a zoo membership. He spent a good 10 minutes filling out the paperwork. Why didn’t the cashier have him step aside to fill it out? I was really grouchy by that point. Really grouchy.

Brandon inside the zoo - no costume.

Swans and ducks aren't exactly interesting first exhibits.

Next were the Navajo sheep.

Then we saw wild turkeys. What kind of zoo is this? These are animals I could see driving around Utah! And where is the candy? Oh - by that really long line.

Brandon did enjoy the monkey house, once we showed him where the monkeys were hiding.

Free candy (for a 20-minute wait in line) or an ice cream cone (for $3)? Not a difficult choice to make. That is me in the background, being pregnant and grouchy.

Unsure why they had a bunch of cornstalks, unless it was for Halloween, but Brandon was happy hiding in them. And the Romgi was happy taking pictures.

This is the gorilla exhibit, which had no gorillas - only a black cat. Quoi?

And this is me making Brandon cry. It was not on purpose. Seriously.

I'm not a terrible person...really...

The Romgi gave Brandon candy to make me look even more like the bad guy. It calmed Brandon down, and we went on a train ride. So nice to sit for a few minutes!

The train ride took us through all the boring, non-animal parts of the zoo. Why are there teepees?

Ok, admittedly, the buffalo were kind of cool.

After that we took Brandon to the gift shop and let him pick out whatever he wanted. Of course, we only directed him towards budget-friendly items, but I’m sure he had fun grabbing things off the shelf. I would.

We did finally make it back to the car, about two and a half hours after we first got in line to buy tickets. Here’s the conclusion I came to: Roni needs more sleep before going on outings. A lot more. The Romgi had a good time, and Brandon apparently did too, and the further we get from the trip the more I think it might have actually been a tiny bit fun.

But I probably won’t be going back anytime soon.

UnHalloween

This year the Romgi and I have not bought any Halloween candy (for ourselves or trick-or-treaters), we don’t have costumes, we’re not invited to any Halloween parties, and we don’t even know any little kids in the area to see in their cute costumes. I doubt our neighborhood will get a lot of trick-or-treaters; and despite having bought a giant pumpkin this week, we have not yet carved it (nor do we know what we should carve) and putting it out on the porch risks the wrath of our neighborhood hooligans (yes, they’re real). We don’t even have a Halloween movie to watch.

I guess we’re saving up all our Halloween enjoyment for next year, when you can bet I will be taking around the 8 month old Bwun in costume to get candy. And babies don’t like candy, so that means…we’ll have to eat it!

In the meantime, though, I do feel a little bit bad about missing out on every Halloween experience possible. Is this what being a grownup is like? Boring!