Amish Hour

Posted: November 13, 2010 | Author: Mika | Filed under: Great Expectations, Romgi the Enigma | 2 Comments

Recently I decided that the Romgi and I don’t spend enough time together. Even if we’re both at home, chances are we’re doing our own things. I do actually like the Romgi quite a bit, so it seemed like we should change our routine and interact more. I also know myself well enough to know that trying to make a big change was a bad idea; it would probably not work out (at least at first) and I’d feel like a failure, giving up on the whole thing.

Instead I told the Romgi that we were going to have one hour every evening without using the computer, our iPods, or the tv. He immediately agreed on the condition that we call it Amish Hour.

You know what? I’ve really enjoyed it so far. I think it’s been about 4 days now, and I feel like it’s made a big difference. We don’t necessarily do anything interesting (although I predict a game of Parcheesi is in our future), but we’re talking a lot more, playing with the kids more, and – gasp! – getting the house cleaner. Tonight as we were sitting down to Amish Hour I remarked that it still frustrates me that our living room continues to be untidy (or even messy) despite frequent cleanings. I said, “We have too much stuff! There’s stuff everywhere!” The Romgi, being the good husband he is, told me that we could go through the living room and sort everything for Amish Hour. So we did.

The Bwun did his best to thwart our attempts, but with both the Romgi and I working on the room, we were able to get it fairly clean. Best of all, the Romgi vacuumed while I fed jr.

Unfortunately, I think our living room is just too small to not feel cluttered, even when it's clean.

Fake smile.

Genuine adorableness.

So that’s my report on Amish Hour. I hope we have many more enjoyable, quality hours together, especially ones where the house is already clean and we can just play a game!

C is for Cookie

It’s also for crisis, caught-off-guard, calm, and controlled.

The last two weeks have been so unbelievably crazy (C is for crazy, as well). I was just not expecting to have jr a month early, and I had such short notice to mentally and emotionally prepare for having a baby – just a few hours, when I thought I’d have at least 3 weeks. While we waited for the antibiotic to cycle through, I babbled to the Romgi incessantly. I was frightened, and uncertain, but I felt like I had to keep those emotions at bay. C is for coping. I shoved the fear and uncertainty to the back corners of my mind and decided to deal with the situation as best I could – which really meant that I didn’t address how I was feeling. It was time for survival, not ridiculous things like emotions.

I don’t think I’ve gone off of “survival mode” since then. I kept waiting for – keep waiting for – some sort of breakdown, where I suddenly realize that I now have two kids, that my life is complete pandemonium (C is for chaos), that I can’t handle this. I expected that once the breakdown came, I could process what happened and move on with life. But the breakdown has eluded me. Is this good? Or does it just mean I’m in denial? C is for confusion.

Tonight the Romgi stayed home with the kids while I went out shopping. It was time to face the facts, to talk myself through the situation and figure out why my reaction to it has been so different from what I anticipated. C is for content, composed, calm. I won’t go so far as to say I feel any of those most of the time, but I do feel content-composed-calm often lately. And it’s been unnerving. I am not a C is for chill person. So why did I seem to be taking everything in stride?

I eventually came to the conclusion that either the breakdown is still forthcoming or I’ve simply mellowed out. A lot. I realized that there are an infinite number of things outside my control, and that worrying or stressing about them won’t help – it will just make me feel worried and stressed. I realized that I can’t change everything I dislike about myself all at once, and that in trying to improve my bad habits there will be setbacks and mistakes – and I’ll have to take those in stride, as well. I realized that life isn’t as hard as I imagined if I am willing to ask for help, and that I have to ask for and accept help from others – I can’t accomplish much of anything all by myself. No one can. I realized that I am vulnerable and weak and in need of help…and then I realized that it’s okay to be that way. I can always find the C is for comfort and C is for courage I need to keep going.

I hope my thoughts don’t seem tangential to my original topic. It was important for me to understand that, flawed as I am, I’m C is for capable of handling whatever C is for challenge I may face. Yes, I now have two kids; yes, I was unprepared for having a new baby to take care of; yes, it’s trickier than just having the Bwun. But none of those things is really a C is for crisis. Maybe my breakdown hasn’t come because this simply isn’t that difficult (yet).

C is for certain. I feel certain that things will be okay. Especially since my C is for caring Visiting Teacher brought us dinner tonight, complete with C is for cookies.

C is for clean. Just imagine that I vacuumed the floor, too.

You know what else? C is for comment. Please tell me your thoughts on what I’ve said.

Accomplishments revisited

Posted: November 6, 2010 | Author: Mika | Filed under: Great Expectations | 1 Comment

Well…the last two weeks have definitely not gone as planned (ER trip #1, ER trip #2, jr’s early arrival)! I made a goal last week to watch Miracle on 34th Street and to find a photo album for our wedding pictures this week. I have done neither of those.

However, I have been drinking plenty of water, taking pictures of the Bwun every day (and jr, too, don’t worry), and writing in my journal at least once a week. So things on my Day Zero list are getting done – just not the things I meant to accomplish right now.

And, our house is in a constant cycle of super messy/somewhat tidy (in the living room, at least). Maybe I’ll show you a picture every day and that will help me keep things clean. When it’s still messy, we can all commiserate about life being rough and kids making messes. Deal? Ok. Here’s tonight – and I should tell you that the room was beautifully tidy at 9 this morning! Then the Bwun happened.