hotel rwanda

we watched hotel rwanda again tonight. maybe it’s been a bad week — or not so much bad as emotional. that documentary on thursday (seoul train) was rough. and watching this movie tonight…it’s disheartening. I know there are so many of us in the world praying for peace, but are we powerless? what do our efforts do in the face of so much hatred and violence? surely we won’t — we can’t — stop trying, but it does seem futile at times. what can I do here in utah or california that will help ease the suffering of people in north korea or africa?

I don’t want my children born into a world like this. but I feel helpless to make a difference. there must be something I can do. they need wells in africa. simple wells, that are easy to use and easy to fix. they don’t cost much to build and they make a huge difference to the people in the community. how do I build a well in africa? where is someone who will take my money and use it to build a well in africa? I know the church’s humanitarian aid fund is probably the best venue for such endeavors. it’s always been my goal to serve as a senior missionary when I’m older, but today I decided that I’ll go on a humanitarian mission if circumstances allow. that way I can make a difference.

but what now? what can I do with my resources and my talents? jarom told me I should consider an african studies major if I’m serious about helping there. I do want to help. I want to spend my life helping other people be better off. but I don’t know how. donating money is not my best option right now. I want to DO something…make something, go somewhere, be somebody that changes one facet of life for one person in need. that would be enough for one day. and the next day I would help another person. I have other things to give besides money, and I think they could be put to good use, if only I knew how.

정유진

as we’ve been watching 겨울연가 we all wonder, what’s the deal with 유진 always being so sad? it’s as if everything in her world is wrong, from her point of view, and she can’t do anything about it except have that look and try not to cry.

today I have that look. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. all week I’ve been irritable, grumpy, crabby. it bothers me that a tiny little thing will make me upset, and I’ll snap at jarom, who hasn’t done anything wrong. I hate being irritable, and so I get sad, and feel bad about speaking rudely to jarom, but I can’t explain to him why the whole thing is going on…

this isn’t restlessness. I know only too well what that feels like. this is more of a melancholy, only what is it for? surely I’m grown up enough to not be feeling this way because I can’t make him come back; can’t I be mature enough to accept that maybe he is never coming back? why does that always have to be the underlying cause of all my melancholy? maybe I’m just tired of knowing exactly what I want — for once in my life — and there’s no way of getting it. except waiting. and waiting. and waiting, until I end up with this look on my face again.

experiments

I wish I could find my usb cable so I could upload the pictures we took. jarom and I have been experimenting lately.

1. grapes in the microwave. we weren’t cutting them quite right at first, so we just got sparks flying. then we found out the better way to slice them to make plasma balls. yeah. in the microwave. coolest thing ever, except I feel bad using our brand new microwave. next time we’ll do it in jarom’s ollllllld one.

2. mentos + diet coke. we’d seen so many videos on google, but somehow managed to not do it perfectly. still, we did get a 5-foot-high fountain of diet coke. it’s still on sale for $1/bottle at smith’s, so tomorrow I’m going to buy more. and more mentos. definitely.

3. peeps. of course everyone knows they’re lots of fun in the microwave, but then we got to wondering about their chemical properties. here were the battles and the winners:
peep vs. box of matches: peep
hairspray-soaked peep vs. fire: peep
lighter-fluid-soaked peep vs. fire: peep
flammable-bug-spray-soaked peep vs. fire: peep
kerosene-soaked peep vs. fire: peep
all in all, peeps are just remarkably resilient. I found this website that further tests the chemical properties of peeps, and I say we need to get our hands on some liquid nitrogen pretty quick.

so that’s what we’ve been up to. I’ll add the pictures when I can.