Bread

Last year I decided not to eat any desserts, treats, or sweets from December 1 until Christmas. Why? I have no idea. I think I really wanted to test my willpower, and no other time of year is so treat-infested. I was in the midst of a difficult semester…so maybe I wanted to prove that I could actually accomplish what I wanted to.

I convinced Jarom to do it with me, and that’s probably the only thing that kept me from giving in. His classmates at the law school told me how good he was about turning down cookies, even when they promised not to tell me he cheated.

We started again on Sunday, since a few extra days isn’t going to kill us. (More likely it’s good for us.) We got back to Utah on Saturday night with very little food in the house. Jarom had bought a pineapple that we planned to eat on Friday, with our knockoff Dave’s burgers, but I guess we forgot about it until we were packing to come home. Pineapple + Orange County oranges + grapes + Allred orchard apples = amazing smoothie, right?

Disgusting. The pineapple wasn’t even close to ripe, so the whole thing was bland; the texture was awful. But it seemed a shame to waste all that nutritious fruit. We both suffered through a giant glass of this horrible smoothie and after that were so full that we didn’t want any dessert.

Today, I talked myself into making pumpkin bread. I debated its classification as a sweet: 2 loaves have 3 cups of sugar, so it ought to be discounted. After all, I ruled out hot chocolate, biscotti, pudding, and several other things we had in the house. In the end I went ahead with the pumpkin bread because I wanted to make something with the kids, but most of the things I could think of (brownies, cookies, cake, caramels) were clearly against the rules. And it turns out the bread isn’t that sweet or even flavorful.

Well, after the first piece it tasted a lot better. But I still could use a new pumpkin bread recipe. You know, for after Christmas.

Ender

We got a dog.

Here’s what happened: one Saturday, Jarom and a few coworkers had a guys’ day out. This seems fair, since Jarom is always encouraging me (perhaps too enthusiastically) to go have girls’ nights out. But while Jarom was gone this particular Saturday, the kids were horrible. Terrible. At this point I can’t remember the details – so in fact it was probably just a typical day, with June deciding to poop on the floor instead of taking a nap. You know. The usual.

Oh, I do remember what else went wrong – June started a new book-ripping phase, and ripped one of my favorite books. Of course it was a sentimental book, and a new copy will just not be the same. Sigh. By the time Jarom got home, I was frazzled, and emotional, and tired. He offered to get me anything I wanted. I believe his exact words were, “Whatever you want, I’ll get it!”

My requests:

1. A maid. He said he could hire a maid, but it wouldn’t be that day. Boo.

2. Chicken fries. Burger King stopped selling them in January and I’ve been desperate for them ever since. In Jarom’s defense, this was a pretty impossible request.

3. Something expensive. He said it could be done, but he’d have to order a gift and it wouldn’t arrive for at least a few days.

4. Money. I changed my mind about this, because it just wouldn’t be a satisfying gift.

5. Chicken fries, again.

6. A dog. I think Jarom was regretting his offer by that point, as I’d managed to come up with a lot of unreasonable ideas. So he was willing to bargain.

It turned out that one of the coworkers had just acquired a dog from a friend whose landlord suddenly said pets weren’t allowed. The coworker was hoping to find a new home for the dog, and Jarom asked if I wanted to go see if I was interested in taking it.

We had them bring the dog over to our house that evening for a visit. It was an extremely shaggy cocker spaniel named The Cheat. By the end of an hour, I was sold; Jarom wisely suggested that I work up to having the dog full-time, so over the next week the dog spent more and more time at our house. Now he’s mine!

Before haircut.

I liked the name The Cheat at first, but I realized that only people roughly my age who lived in Utah in the last 10 years might know what it’s from. And since we plan to have the dog long-term, I decided to change his name. Fortunately my shelves are full of books I love, and Jarom and I agreed on Ender, from Ender’s Game. (I had someone ask me if I named him after The Ender Games. Ha, not quite.)

Ender got a nice haircut a few days after he moved in, and I’ll be honest, I like the short hair much better.

After haircut.

He’s 4, and well-trained, and so far I love having him. The kids adore him, mostly. I did hear Evan say to June recently, “Let’s go sneak up on the dog and chase him!” It might have been innocent, but Evan’s tone indicated otherwise.

So, we have a dog.

Bonus: June jumping. In snow boots.

And that’s all there is. There isn’t any more.