Quantified

I’ve always had trouble falling asleep. As soon as I go to bed, I start worrying or running over lists of things I need to do (or should have already done). I compose blog posts in my head, make mental grocery lists, berate myself for being so impatient with the kids, worry slightly that someone will break into the house and murder us. And I get stressed about not being about to sleep, which certainly doesn’t help. Basically, I don’t know how to relax.

A few months ago I downloaded an app called Sleep Cycle. It tracks your movement during the night to determine the “quality” of your sleep. You set an interval for your alarm to go off – between 7:00 and 7:30, for example – and it wakes you when you’re already in a light sleep mode. Then in the morning it gives you a graph showing your sleep pattern for the night, and a percent rating for your sleep quality. Bonus: you can enter in notes to see what effect something has on your sleep quality (I learned that a sleeping pill helps me fall asleep, but I toss and turn more, lowering the quality by about 15%; having a stressful day actually increased the quality, likely because I’m so worn out that my body is ready to rest). And then you can chart your sleep over months.

When I first started using the app, it showed the expected hour or so of why-can’t-I-fall-asleep at the beginning of the night. Statistics aside, I wasn’t feeling any better about the sleep I was getting. In the past I’ve tried guided imagery, white noise, various relaxation techniques, and calming bedtime routines to help me fall asleep, but I usually only saw improvement for a week before I was back to square one. Eventually I tried a breathing technique that I think my dad told me about – if I’m not mistaken, it’s called 4×4. You breathe in, hold it, breathe out, hold it, each for 4 counts, and you repeat it 4 times. By the end of it, I was a lot calmer and after making this a habit for a few days, I didn’t have trouble falling asleep. I started in September and don’t worry about going to bed anymore.

I think the combined effect of the Sleep Cycle app and the 4×4 technique is what helps me. With nice charts and statistics, I can really see how much better I sleep if I go to bed early. I’ve had a few nights that earned me a 100% score – and they were all times when I went to bed before 10 and had Jarom home to get up with the kids in the morning. If only I could do that every night!

Not everything can or should be quantified. But sleep? Definitely.

P.S. I stopped worrying about someone breaking in because we live on a decently busy street with our “back” door facing the post office, which has motion-activated lights and maybe even a camera somewhere? I comfort myself by assuming a potential murderer would pick a less well-lit, visible house.

Thoughtful

I’m coming to realize more and more that we don’t just help people when it’s convenient for us. Often the most helpful and thoughtful things we can do arise when we’re busy or tired or overwhelmed. But serving others, even if it doesn’t fit well into our schedule, will enrich our own lives. I really believe that most of the point of human existence is to help each other in whatever way we can.

Yesterday, my super grouchy day, I got a nice note on Facebook, several encouraging texts, and an offer of help from a sweet neighbor – who not only took my kids for a few hours but made cookies with them and brought me a plate! It’s easy to get caught up in my own daily challenges without considering how my time could be better used helping than complaining. That being said, does anyone need a pick-me-up today?

Giving

Now that Evan is old enough to really understand birthdays, and he’s suffered through June’s birthday without being the center of attention, he is very excited for Christmas. He seems quite clear on the concept of Christmas = presents. I’ve been trying to talk to him about why we have Christmas (simplified: Jesus’ birthday), and why we have presents (simplified: the Wise Men brought presents to baby Jesus). I emphasized that we give gifts to the people we love, so maybe he would enjoy thinking of something to give to June, Jarom, cousins, and friends. This talk went well, but as I’ve done almost no Christmas preparation yet, nothing has really come of it without an example of what Evan should be doing. At church we signed up to provide a stocking for a 2-year-old boy in the neighborhood, and I hope that will be a good chance to let Evan (and June!) help give some small things to someone else.

We have plenty of toys, clothes, and books. (Well, so far as you can ever really have “plenty of books.”) We have a nice house, steady income, two semi-working cars. Friends and family live nearby. We even got a dog. With all of that, it’s been hard for me to think of what to give the kids for Christmas. June just had a birthday, and Evan’s is just around the corner – he’ll be 4! – do they need more toys? Will they be disappointed if I give them practical things, like clothes? (Surely yes.) I’ve settled on getting a large wall map and a few fold-up maps for Evan, who is currently obsessed with anything that vaguely resembles a map. But I’m still stumped about June. Any ideas?

Then there was the issue of what to do for Jarom. We talked a while ago about doing a much smaller Christmas budget this year, and then about doing a joint present. We tossed a few ideas around – a nice evening out, season tickets to the theater or ballet, a new painting. Yesterday we decided on a nice new mattress pad. It’s not very exciting, in terms of a Christmas gift, but now is an especially good time to make the bed more comfortable, for reasons I’ll get into later. It will be a good, practical joint present. We’ll be ok without a big surprise.

Tomorrow I’ll show you our Extremely Crooked Christmas Tree.