The Lighthouse Land

by Adrian McKinty

{ 2006 | Harry N. Abrams | 372 pgs }

I’m not sure how this found its way onto my reading list, but that’s nothing special. I like to not have any idea of who recommended a book, what genre it is, favorable or negative reviews, or general plot summaries before I start reading.

I was thrilled to sit down with a fiction book after I got home from my last class of the semester a few weeks ago. And from the beginning, The Lighthouse Land was fascinating. A young boy in Harlem has lost his arm to cancer (is that realistic? I don’t even know), and stops speaking afterwards; a year later, he and his mother receive a letter informing them that they are the last heirs of an Irish estate (I think definitely not realistic). Once there, the boy – Jamie – makes friends with a classmate – Ramsey – and they discover a portal to another realm/world through a hidden room in a tower of the estate. And in this other realm, Jamie has both arms again.

The story dropped off a little after that. The people in the realm, of course, have expected aid to arrive, but not in the form of two teenagers. I really lost interest a while into that storyline. Things picked up again towards the end, but the final 15 pages or so were horrific and horrendous to the extent that I will not be reading the other books in the trilogy. Seriously, it was LAME. In all capital letters, yes. LAME.

Want to know why? Ok, spoilers:

– Jamie decides to stay in the other realm instead of going home with Ramsey, because he (Jamie) fell in love with the girl they helped to save her country. Apparently Jamie has forgotten that he has a mom who went through a divorce after her son’s cancer, and her son doesn’t talk at all, ever, and she lives in the middle of nowhere, Ireland. By herself now, it seems.

– Meanwhile, back in the real world, Jamie’s mom finds out that Jamie and Ramsey are not on the school ski trip like they said, but have actually disappeared for almost two weeks. While she rushes out to search for Jamie, her car gets stuck in the channel connecting her estate to the main road, because it’s high tide. I think the car rolls over or something, or somehow she breaks her arm, and the car starts flooding and stuff. Basically she is alone and going to die.

– Jamie does end up coming back, but only because he hears his mom calling out for him somehow across the void. He knows that she needs help, so he and Ramsey go rescue her.

– End of book.

Thank you, waste of my time.

Buy The Lighthouse Land on Amazon if you like wasting time

The Testament

by John Grisham

{ 1999 | Doubleday | 465 pgs }

What to do on the train when Jarom and June are napping, and Evan is playing (nearby) with other kids? Of course, pull out the Kindle and download a John Grisham novel. Since Jarom has been interested in wills and estates as a field of law, The Testament seemed like a good choice.

Troy Phelan is an old billionaire who hates his 3 ex-wives and 6 children. He agrees to an exam to determine his testamentary capacity – whether or not he’s in sound mind to make his will. Immediately after he completes the exam and the family members and psychiatrists leave, he presents a handwritten (holographic) will to his lawyer, in which he leaves his entire fortune to an illegitimate daughter, and then he jumps out the window. From the 14th floor.

But really, the book is about trying to find the daughter, and about the lawyers for the rest of the family trying to get their “fair share.” It was interesting, if a little preachy, and I actually might have preferred if the family ended up suffering more. They were perfectly detestable.

All in all, not bad, but nothing compared to The Client. Which I read when I was about 10. (Which has inspired me to keep LOTS of young adult literature in the house for when our book-hungry children go looking for something to read, having exhausted all the bookshelves in their rooms.)

Buy The Testament on Amazon

Waiting for Godot

by Samuel Beckett

{ premiered 1953 }

Absurdist theater. I think I’d enjoy it in person, but probably won’t ever go see it.

That is all.

Buy Waiting for Godot on Amazon